The Power of Seem

Webster defines “seem” as “to present the appearance of being” or “to be only in appearance but not reality”. Everything here seems, and nothing here is as it seems. The ego seems. Forgiveness seems. Even our favorite blue book seems. Remember, everything we perceive has the purpose that we give it. It neither is reality nor points to reality. It merely reflects our will.

“Seem” is the difference between freedom and prison. As we walk along our path, we often begin to recognize the illusory nature of the world, our perceptions, and even time and space. This is often useful freeing us from pain and unhappiness, and it is also often terrifying imprisoning us to a dream of attack and guilt. Like everything else in our experience, the power of decision is ours – heaven or hell, forgiveness or attack, crucifixion or redemption – and how easily we can make one seem like the other.

“Seem” is the power that turns the heavy burden of guilt into the freedom of forgiveness. “Seem” is the change of purpose that turns attack into a call for help, a call for Love. “Seem” is the reminder that truth can have no opposite - that a little bit of falsity is impossible if truth is true. “Seem” is the teacher that demonstrates that not only is the dream not what we think it is but even the motivation behind the dream is impossible. “Seem” is the peace that surrenders form to changed content. “Seem” is a door taking us beyond itself.

Spend some time with “seem” today. It will seem to take you home; it will remind you that you never left.

Why didn't I think of that?!

Another one of my favorite teachers sprung an analogy on me this week that I hadn’t considered. And of course, as a practicing fisherman, I couldn’t believe that it had never occurred to me! I love it.

We were discussing what the experience of changed mind (forgiveness) was like. He was describing how he saw the symbols – the people, actions, etc. – that used to cause him pain, fear, irritation, etc. He said that he still saw these symbols during his day but that the hook didn’t set as often anymore. Brilliant.

For those of you who aren’t of the cult of casting and reeling, setting the hook is the act one initiates when a fish takes the bait. If you don’t set the hook, the bait is just spit out or is pulled free as you try to reel in the fish.

Remember, forgiveness doesn’t remove or change the form that you see; forgiveness transforms the meaning, the purpose, of the form. You may still recognize the “hooks” that used to reel you in to depression, panic, jealousy, anger, etc., but they don’t set. Why? Because you no longer are willing to give them the power of your mind. You are the fishermen, perhaps the fisher of men, and you are also the fish. You get to decide the purpose of the hook. Does it bring you pain, suffering, and sadness, or does it reconnect you to yourself. Symbol’s the same; the content has changed. As goes the content, so goes your experience.

Reel in your Self today.

The Problem with Addiction

Much has been written. Much hashed and rehashed. So many of us have expended so much energy trying to understand, control, and eliminate these so-called destructive behaviors that we call “addictions”. So often we ask Jesus, God, or the Universe to take them away. So often we teach our students that addiction is a choice and that acting from addiction is wrong. How blinded we are to own.

As ACIM students, we must be vigilant against the temptation to perceive worldly addictions (drinking, gambling, gluttony, smoking, drugs, sex etc.) as different from our own...unless one of them happens to be our own! Our addiction, though, is never to these forms. Our addiction is to the teacher that has convinced us that these behaviors are the problem.

First, we must recognize that sometimes understanding, controlling or eliminating a destructive behavior can be very useful. Sometimes we must curtail our drinking, gambling, etc. in order to clear our thinking enough to even consider that there must be another way; however, as students of ACIM, we must quickly recognize that these behaviors were never the problem.
Our addiction is to the world, not the booze, not the royal flush. Our addiction is to the real problem, the decision to listen to the ego’s interpretation of the tiny mad idea (attack).

Every thing here is an addiction. The belief that there are some behaviors that are “wrong” and some that are not is part of the insanity that keeps us rooted in our singular addiction. We certainly don’t invest the energy and concern trying to heal ourselves from our addiction to air, yet it serves the same purpose in our mind. What folly to follow the teacher that tells us that we should eliminate addiction from our lives and takes another breath. What hypocrisy! What hypocrisy indeed. The teacher of addiction is the thought of hypocrisy, so we shouldn’t be too surprised.

We return to this teacher every minute of every day believing that our safety lies with him, as we take another drink to take the edge off, look to the inside straight to supply the rush or give us hope, or take another breath believing our life depends on it. No, it isn’t the booze, and it isn’t the cards. Our addiction is to a teacher, and that teacher is a substitute. We believe that without this teacher’s counsel that we’ll surely perish. Remember to laugh, my friends, remember to laugh.

So, on your next breath, use it as it is meant to used. Allow this breath to be the reminder that you need do nothing to be what you are. Allow this breath to be the reminder that the power of addiction is no match for the power of decision. Allow this breath to remind you that attack is impossible and that guilt is never justified. Now, you are using addiction as it was intended. Now, you have chosen the Teacher who represents our True Addiction. Now, you remember no need.

Seek and Do Not Find

What is it that you seek? Most of us just want to be happy…at least that’s what we think we want. The problem is that we seek for that happiness where it cannot be found. We seek for health, wealth, and love in a world made to keep these out. We wander this desert like nomads seeking water from a mirage to quench our thirst. Think about your life; think about your day. What have you found? What hasn’t changed or won’t change? What hasn’t failed or won’t fail? What hasn’t been lost? The breath you just took wasn’t enough. The rest that you found last night isn’t enough this evening. The love of your spouse yesterday wasn’t enough for today. So, we seek more. This is the promise of the ego thought system. It is the one promise that it keeps: Seek and do not find.

The reason is obvious when you stop to look, but you do have to look. The ego is an attack thought. Unable to love, the ego would be meaningless in love’s presence, so by definition, it cannot find what we really seek. We are left in the seemingly untenable position of seeking what we believe would destroy us. Love has become a Medusa-like thought upon which we must never look. The only option, then, is to distort love into something upon which we can look, something upon which the ego can survive. And that’s what we do. We seek love in attack, and we find it in sacrifice. Think about the world’s idea of love. We demonstrate the depth of our love by what we are willing to give up. Love becomes a bargain, and we barter for our lives. The martyr is revered. Sacrifice, divine.

Thankfully, there is a solution to this seemingly inescapable loop of doom! The solution is looking - recognizing that what we seek isn’t out there. We are what we seek. We’ve just forgotten what we are. As long as we keep looking without, we’ll never look within, which means we aren’t really looking.

We are indeed nomads, but of course, it isn’t the water for which we thirst. The water is but a substitute. The air is a substitute. All of it is a substitute. Not what we truly seek, these flimsy substitutions never quench our thirst. We’re stuck on a hamster wheel, too afraid to stop. The seeker can never find until he/she is willing to stop the wheel. Looking stops the wheel, and Forgiveness is looking. Forgiveness changes the purpose of the world we see and the eyes with which we see it. Forgiveness reflects what was never lost, and our frantic search disappears into the nothingness from which it sprang. Forgiveness is that for which we thirst, and it is that which reminds us that we were never thirsty.

Geez, these pretzels are making me thirsty. Gotta go get a drink….Cheers!

Today We Remember

In a tiny instant of madness, terror seemed to take the place of Love. Crucifixion seemed to have meaning. Wholeness seemed but a dream.

Imprisoned by fear, we but continue to forget. That’s all.

Today We Remember.

Today we remember that Love casts out all fear. Today we remember that attack has no real effect. Today we remember the Self that seemed but a dream.

Resurrection is remembering. It is the undoing of guilt that shines away all pain, all suffering, and all terror. In an instant of decision, the memory of Love, undivided, resurrects in a mind willing and free. Resurrection is the dawning on your mind of what is already in it.

Happy Easter Everybody.

The Problem with Your Brother

And by “brother”, I mean brother, sister, mother, father, spouse, friend, neighbor, stranger, etc. The problem with anyone is yours. Doesn’t matter if we are talking about the girl who cut you off in traffic, the guy who stole your car, or the person at work who is just plain ol’ irritating. Our problem is that we can’t see them. We can’t see them, because we see the world through a lens of judgment that hides the truth about everyone. In effect, the world that we see is the denial of truth. We are like children with the covers pulled over our head hoping that the monsters won’t find us.

ACIM says that Miracles are merely the translation of denial into truth. Of course! Our healing comes when we are no longer willing to lie about each other, no longer willing to lie to ourselves, and no longer willing to believe that there is safety in either. Forgiveness is the denial of the denial of truth. Rather than hiding from it, forgiveness gives us eyes to see it.

Whatever the problem, there is but one solution. Our problem with our brother is our own. We will be made whole as we make whole. We make whole by looking - not by hiding. Giving up the distorted lens of fear, hatred, and attack, we see the call for love that resides behind every problem, behind every brother. See your brother truly and recognize yourself. T.12.II.2.9 To perceive the healing of your brother as the healing of yourself is thus the way to remember God.

Before we awaken, we have to take off the covers.

Tofu or not tofu? That is the question!

Ever had hot dog tofu? Me either. Who knew it even existed? I mean, wow. Little did I expect the lesson that it conceals.

Recently, our good friend Bob shared how working with ACIM has been leading him to see the sameness of all of our problems and the sameness of his personal daily experiences. He has started seeing beyond varying forms to the singular content behind them all. It was a moving description. Then, he hit us with it….tofu. Bob turned bean curd into an unforgettable lesson in forgiveness. For this, we clearly owe our gratitude.

You see, it seems that tofu is not our Father’s tofu anymore. Some of us crazy kids have taken it to new levels. Apparently, there are flavors of tofu for every occasion and need….or seeming need. There are all manners of fruit flavors, meat flavors, and of course, the old standby - stinky tofu. There’s spicy Thai flavored tofu, portabella ham, spinach jalapeño, and shitake garlic flavored tofu. And yes, even hot dog tofu. As Bob so passionately exclaimed, “But it is all still tofu!”

Indeed it is. And such is the world. Nothing here is as it seems. Everything here is a cover, an interpretation, and interpretation is never reality. We are so lost in our myriad flavors that we’re no longer aware of their source. As such, we never respond to anything directly. We respond to what we think it is, and we justify our response based on something other than reality. We eat the hot dog flavored tofu and believe it is a hot dog.

Our judgment of each other is the means by which we keep this unreality in our awareness. We never see each other as we are, but rather as we need each other to be. We need each other to be the myriad flavors when in reality, the flavors are but a mask pulled over who we really are. We gladly don the masks terrified by what they obscure.

When we identify with our little buddy, the ego, (and we all do), we spend most every hour of every day analyzing our own distorted perceptions (the masks) in an attempt to demonstrate that we understand what we see, hear, and experience, never realizing that we are analyzing nothing but a flimsy veil, a trick-or-treaters masquerade .

T.12.I.3.3-5 Every loving thought is true (read: tofu). Everything else (read: flavors) is an appeal for healing and help, regardless of the form it takes. Can anyone be justified in responding with anger to a brother’s plea for help?

Our call is but to recognize the flavors as what they are - our brother’s plea to remind him that he isn’t a hot dog. He, too, is tofu, just like you.

I gotta go eat.

Gone Fishin'

So, what the heck is the problem with fishing you may ask! Oh, where to begin? Have you ever been fishing?

I’ve just returned from a fishing vacation. Some friends and I spent most of last week in hot pursuit of little green fish. That in and of itself could be the problem! The weather is always a problem. Sometimes, it’s the bugs, the tackle, the boat, the mood of said little green fish. Problem, problem, problem.

The seeming problem last week wasn’t the fishing. As most of us who have spent a long day on the water know, it was the catching! Sure, we caught some fish, but not the size or quantity that we expected. A friend sent me the following quote after our second day: “Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing it is not fish they are after.” Henry David Thoreau

A long-time fisherman, fan of Thoreau, and ACIM student, I have always held that quote dear. I’ve also said on many occasions that a true fisherman doesn’t have to catch fish to have fun. We had fun. Oh yes, we laughed a ton. But all of us had this tiny mad voice telling us that we should be disappointed, frustrated, etc. At times, some of us even listened.

Like everything else in our lives, the problem with fishing is that we think it is a problem. Actually, that is one of the things that I really love about it. To consistently catch fish, one must be able to solve puzzles. A good angler uses past experience, knowledge of seasonal patterns, weather, fish behavior, etc. to figure out where and how to get them into the boat. Of course, a puzzle isn’t necessarily a problem, and neither the fishing nor the catching was really the problem on our trip.

One problem; one solution.

The problem is that not catching fish threatened our identity. We all consider ourselves fairly good fishermen. A dear friend calls me “the fish whisperer”. I take conscious pride in my ability to consistently solve the puzzle! Last week, I couldn’t. I got the corner pieces and most of the sides, but the whole puzzle eluded me. Who was I?

Our little imaginary friend - the ego - defends our seeming identity tooth and nail. Who are we without our descriptions of ourselves, without our beliefs about ourselves, without our judgments? The ego is these beliefs. It depends on how we’ve “described” ourselves, because it is the differences (judgments). The fear over that loss of identity is what every single one of us experiences over and over and over, day-in and day-out. It is the disappointment, the frustration, the depression that we secretly delight in. Why? Because that fear reinforces who we want to be (separate, distinct, special, etc.) In the ego’s topsy-turvy world, wholeness is deprivation. Anything that chips away at our seeming individual identity is therefore perceived as a threat.

Think about your “fishing”. Are you a good mom? A good friend? A talented artist or skilled professional? Do you have a green thumb? Are you a master in the kitchen? Are you spiritual? Maybe smart or funny? Perhaps, you are unlucky, unhappy, or unfairly treated. What defines you? What causes some discomfort when it is seemingly taken away?

Spend a few minutes with yourself today – not as you define yourself but as you are. Try to move beyond the descriptions. Who are you without these ideas? Who is the you asking the question?

See you on the water.

Ego v. Godzilla

At some point along our journey, each of us asks, “How did the ego happen?” Or “To whom did it happen?” These are very logical questions from here. Having identified with the ego thought system, we think we are the ego thought system. We spend every minute of every day learning about the ego thought system – how its laws and commandments effect us. We learn about the decision for the ego thought system, as we travel our road home. We even begin to understand the motivation for the ego thought system, as we absorb the teachings of the Course or other spiritual paths. Logically, we then want to know how it happened. How did everything spawn nothing? How did something other than Love occur? If you haven’t asked this question, you will. We all do.

There are a couple of very important things to consider when confronted with these questions:

1) Remember that the Course and indeed the world are metaphors. Neither are the truth; both represent what we deem to be true. God and His Son (all of us) are One in Heaven, period. Everything after that seemed to happen. "Seemed" is the operative word. The ego seemed to happen. Separation and attack seemed to happen. As we work up the ladder of Forgiveness, all of these symbols begin to disappear. Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the Right Mind, the wrong mind, the decision maker, the tiny mad idea, the Son - all of these are symbols along the ladder. Symbols are symbols. They are not reality.

2) Consider whether the question is really a question at all. Consider that asking how the ego happened may be a statement in the form of a question. The statement is that the ego did happen and that separation and attack are possible. The question is a statement of what we’ve already deemed true. The question is propaganda for a lie.

An example I often use to illustrate the point is the following question: How did Godzilla eat New York? To most of us, this question is more obviously a statement in the form of a question. The statement is that Godzilla ate New York. Now, based on our awareness of what is “true”, most of us don’t believe in Godzilla, and we certainly don’t believe that he ate New York. Both, however, are clearly inextricable from this question. From our point of view, the question is insane - at least a little silly.

The ego doesn’t know what questions to ask, but not aware of an alternative point of view, we accept the ego’s insane questions hook, line and sinker. This illustrates one of the fundamental obstacles to peace. We, believing in the reality of the ego thought system, constantly try to bring the Truth to the lie. We try to reconcile Godzilla with reality. We can't. And it doesn't matter how much we intellectually "understand" the teachings of the Course or our chosen path. At some point, we recognize that even our “understanding” is an obstacle. We can’t “understand” what isn’t really there. We simply wake up, and Peace will be right there, where it was the whole time.

So, today, stop trying to reconcile the ego with the Truth. In the battle between the Ego and Godzilla, there is no winner, because neither exists and battle is impossible. Notice today, however, how badly you want one of them to triumph – how badly the “truth” about who you think you are depends on it. It’s okay. Awareness of what we thought we wanted is the first step toward remembering what we really want.

Our Quest for Truth

Truth is absolute. A little bit of falsity, a little bit of error, renders Truth untrue. Truth has to be true to be Truth! The point is that something is either true or false. Something is either real or illusion. There are no compromises here. Our True Identity is the same. We are exactly as we were created, whole, indivisible, at one with our Source, completely at peace. That being said, we have no experience of that absolute. How could we? Experience by definition is a unique thing different from other experiences. Non-duality is the condition of Truth. There is nothing other. There is nothing else. We live in a world of duality, a world of differences and experiences. Our goal is not to understand or experience Truth. Neither is possible. Our goal is to experience the reflection of Truth in our seeming world of duality and differences. The reflection of Truth is experienced when we are no longer willing to lie to ourselves anymore. Our quest is that simple and that difficult.

The Problem with Fear

We are all afraid, all of the time. Sure, sometimes we feel safer than others. Sometimes we even believe that we can find safety here. We know, though, that it won’t last. On some level, we know that we compromise with fear every minute of every day.

The problem with fear is that we aren’t aware of its source. We think our fear is due to some external threat such as a disease, the bad guys, acts of God, etc. We spend every waking hour (consciously or not) defending against these myriad concerns. Defenses don’t protect us; they simply reinforce attack. Fear is always the result of a belief in attack.

Fear is an effect of the ego thought system, a delusional thought system dependent on attack and guilt. Fear is the result of a thought, a tiny mad idea, which we’ve given power and consequence. If we recognized for a second that a thought was the source of our fear, we’d change our mind, and Peace would remain.

Having identified with this thought system, however, we protect it as if our life depended on it. What we think is our life does. The only way to undo the fear is to recognize its source and decide against it. Within the ego’s thought system, we have no awareness that there is another way. (Remember, the feedback loop from a previous post.) That’s why we need help. We need a symbol beyond the insanity, beyond the closed thought system. Forgiveness is that symbol – whatever form it happens to take. The content of the symbol, i.e. that guilt is impossible and never justified, is the solution.

We can’t untie a knot until we stop hanging from the rope. Likewise, we can’t undo our fear until we stop hanging on to (or from) our guilt. Undo the guilt, and the fear will follow.

Our Invitation to Healing

When we pull up to an intersection and somebody approaches us looking for some change, the rubber of our spiritual journey indeed meets the road of our everyday life. The practical application of our study, our path, meets us head on. Do we drop some change in the cup?

Thankfully, this isn’t A Course in Behavior.

Remember, the problem isn’t where we think it is. The question isn’t A or B.

Most of us could construct a moral argument for giving the dollar or not giving the dollar, and many would argue about what the “loving” thing to do is. Isn’t it amazing that we think that we know? Isn’t it funny that we think that we know AND that we think that there could be an alternative to Love? That simple conflict should be a fairly significant clue that we have no idea about Love. Our judgment about the receiver of the dollar, the giver of the dollar, and the value of the dollar, keeps Love from our awareness.

The only question worth asking of anything in this world is “What is it for?” What is its purpose? The dilemma over the dollar has a clear purpose. It says that the problem is out there and so is the solution. It reinforces the judgment that makes A or B meaningful. It clouds our vision of our brother.

Like every other external question in our lives, the seemingly conflicted form can serve a new purpose, too. It can remind us that the problem isn’t out there, and the problem isn’t a question. The problem is a decision.

The decision for guilt is the glue that binds the fragmented world of form together in one twisted purpose. It is the decision for guilt that gives A or B meaning. It is this decision that imprisons us to conflict, attack, and pain. When we recognize that the problem is a decision, we’re halfway home. Now, all that is required is the little willingness to give up what we’ve chosen by recognizing that we no longer want it.

Practically, when we are willing to decide against all of the obstacles (our judgments) that we’ve erected between ourselves and Love, Love is free to flow through us and inform whatever situation or circumstance in which we find ourselves. In other words, when I forgive myself for judging my brother, judging myself, and judging the value of my gift, Love will take whatever form best symbolizes that decision in that moment. It could be that I give a dollar; it could be that I do not. It could be that I offer a smile; it could be that I offer a meal. Again, it isn’t the form that determines value; it is the content. What am I offering? What is my brother offering? When the answer to those questions are the same, peace is the result.

Remember, ACIM is not a positive course in that it doesn't teaches us what to do; it is a course in undoing the negative. ACIM is a course in removing the obstacles that we’ve placed between who we think we are and our True Identity. ACIM is a course in looking. It is in the looking that we recognize what we’ve chosen and that we no longer want it. That’s where healing starts. That’s what every brother is offering. That’s what everything is for.

But look upon a forgiven world, a world released from guilt, and you are transformed. The sickness that we perceive is but our invitation to heal.

You too?

"The right to be ridiculous is something that I hold dear." Bono

"Me too." Dave

This Note's for You

During a group discussion this week, my friend shared a very useful analogy for describing the ego thought system. For you musicians out there, this may be especially poignant. Bob compared the ego thought system to the feedback loop that is created when an electric guitar is brought in front of an amplifier. You non-musicians can likely recall your favorite rock star’s dissonant sounds as he/she holds their guitar up to the speaker, shakes it a little (the guitar), and produces a siren like tone.

Imagine for a minute that you are the musician, all decked out in your tight pants and complicated shoes (or whatever your favorite rocker wears). You are the musician, but you are convinced that your life is the feedback loop. You’ll move around a bit, change the angle of the guitar, even shake it a bit trying to find a pleasing tone, but these seem to be the limits of your options. Paralyzed by fear, you stand there, not knowing what to do, but believing that your life depends on keeping this dissonant noise going.

Welcome to the ego thought system. Our fear keeps us beholden to the prison of a feedback loop that we believe is our life. It is clear when you look upon the musician from the outside that neither the effort expensed nor the tones of his “life” suit him, yet here we stand – holding the guitar, manipulating the screams, and blind to the choice.

The alternative, of course, is to remove the power from the loop. If the musician had any inkling that his life didn’t depend on the feedback loop, he could merely pull the plug, walk away, and return to playing the Melody of his True Identity.

We have the same choice with the ego thought system. We give it the only power that it has. It is nothing, but it is a nothing that we believe is us.

Unplug today from the judgment that is the ego’s feedback loop. Walk away from the guilt that keeps you prisoner to the ego’s dissonance and raucous screams.

You are the Musician. You are not the loop. Share your Song and remember your Self today.

T.29.IX.8:4-5 And in these dreams a melody is heard that everyone remembers, though he has not heard it since before all time began. Forgiveness, once complete, brings timelessness so close the song of Heaven can be heard…

Thanks for being our teacher, Bob.

The Purpose of Sickness

I’ve been sick for a couple of days – congestion, aches, chills, sneezing, coughing, etc. The funny thing about physical illness is that it has a distinct way of focusing one’s will. When we’re sick, we just want to be well. At least it seems that way.

As I’m wont to do, I found myself pondering the purpose of physical illness while sipping my Theraflu and warming my soup - admittedly with a somewhat clouded brain, so bear with me.

Nothing screams “here’s the problem” like physical illness. When our heads hurt, our bodies ache, and our noses create puddles on the pillow, the problem seems apparent. Like everybody else, I sought out the normal remedies including vitamin C, rest, liquids, doctor visit, and chicken noodle soup. Today, I feel better.

So what happened? As we’ve often said, what happened depends on the purpose that I ascribe. The individualized self (ego) needs the problem (sickness) to be in the world. This serves two purposes: 1) to keep us distracted and unaware of the source of the problem 2) to create the appearance that we’ve rid ourselves of the problem. In other words, we believe the problem is here (a sick body), and we see the source outside of ourselves (a virus).

In Reality, nothing has happened, but in our insane dream of sickness, we all play our roles. Today I’m the sick one. Tomorrow, it will be you, and I’ll return to seeming “health”. The sickness isn’t gone, it has just moved. These roles demand that we recognize the sickness here and try to fix it here. Doesn’t matter if I’m the fixer or the fixee. Doesn’t matter if we utilize medicine, natural alternatives, or spirituality to minister to what ails us, the result is the same. We simply reinforce the sickness and the thought system that made it.

Health and sickness are two edges of the same sword. Our seeming desire to be well is really a veiled wish to hold on to sickness, an unconscious wish to stay asleep. We only know “health” in relation to sickness. Our idea of health depends on sickness. The pain of the illness is indicative of how badly we want the problem to be here. We will even martyr ourselves to our god of sickness to make it so.

Note: The same can be said for every other pursuit here. Whether it is a “healthy” relationship, bank account, body or planet, the dynamics are the same. The purpose is to keep us unaware of the real problem and focused where the problem is not.

But the sickness isn’t here. The sickness is the thought system that here protects. The thought system is a desert. There is no life in the desert. We can’t fix up the seeming effects of a lifeless desert and call it “health”. (For some reason, I’m reminded of lipstick and a pig.) The only hope in a desert is to leave it. Now, let me be very clear. I am not talking about leaving the world. I am talking about leaving the thought system that the world protects. The only way to do that is through the shifted purpose of forgiveness, which means a shifted purpose for the world. The only obstacle, as we’ve discussed prior, is our willingness.

So, what does that look like? Our day-to-day encounter with the desert reveals little saguaro cacti hands pointing in myriad directions at countless guilty forms. Each telling us that this is the problem and that is the solution – that is the problem and this is the solution. (Okay, maybe this metaphor is where you have to bear with me.) That’s where we get stuck (again, bear), because we don’t realize that we’ve told them where to point.

The solution is remembering that we give purpose to the little pointing saguaro cacti hands. With changed purpose, the little cacti hands of the desert all point back to me, reminding me that the problem isn’t the desert. The problem is my decision for the desert (and by the way, the desert is guilt). Even closer to the truth, the problem is my need for the desert. Only then, can I begin to recognize how badly I must want it, how willing I am to suffer for it. This is useful, because now I’m aware of the obstacle. Now, with awareness of the decision, I can make the only meaningful choice and leave the desert (undo the guilt). From ACIM T.10.IV.5:7 What you have made is so unworthy of you that you could hardly want it, if you were willing to see it as it is. Now, I see the purpose of both sickness and health. Now, healing my seemingly sick body has no meaning, because I’ve given it a new purpose – undoing instead of reinforcing, salvation instead of attack, resurrection instead of crucifixion. Yes, I still sip my Theraflu and warm my soup, but with new purpose, now they serve a different teacher.

I’ve often quipped that the sick are closer to heaven than the healthy. Obviously, this has no meaning in Reality, but the point is that the sick (again read: depressed, unhappy, ill, etc.) are typically more motivated than the “healthy”. For the sick, the pain is acute; it is right there. Motivation is high. Sometimes, the sick have that extra little willingness to consider that there might just be another way. The challenge for us seemingly healthy folks (and I am feeling much better today) is recognizing that “healthy” merely veils the sword and that the real sickness is the value we place on the difference.

T.10.IV.3:1 The Sonship cannot be perceived as partly sick, because to perceive it that way is not to perceive it at all.

The Problem with Perception (Part 6 of 6)

Merrily Merrily Merrily


Life is but a dream. I am certainly not the first to recognize the usefulness of the metaphor of the dream. From children’s songs to Shakespeare, Plato, and the Gnostics, we find references to life being a dream. When we think about our journey here, many of us speak of it as an awakening, at a minimum implying that we are asleep. When asked by his followers who he was, the Buddha said, “I am none of these things, what I am is awake.” The Bible suggests that “a deep sleep fell upon Adam”; there is no reference to him waking up. History is replete with these references. Why? Let’s start with our sleeping dreams.

Think about your sleeping dreams for a moment. When you are asleep, do you not believe that what is happening is real? Unless you are having a lucid dream, a dream during which you recognize that you are dreaming, you do. We all do. We all believe that what happens in the dream is actually happening to us. Adhering to the “reality” set up in the mind, the body often reacts accordingly. Our heart beats faster when we’re running or frightened in the dream. We can be observed talking, screaming, or laughing while fast asleep. As a student recently pointed out during a class, sometimes our bodies react to the seemingly specific physical stimulation in the dream by responding with a particularly pleasurable experience! Convincing things, these dreams.

When we awaken from a sleeping dream, we recognize that all of the people in the dream are gone. Everything that seemed to happen didn’t actually happen, and with few exceptions (most notably those referenced by the aforementioned student!), the dreams had no real effect. Think about who you are in the dream. Typically, you are not the person lying in bed having the dream. In fact, often times, you are not even you. You may be a younger version of you, a superhero version of you, etc. The people in your waking life who show up in your dreams rarely look like themselves either. You know it is you and you know it is them, because of the content that you ascribe to them in the dream. We may not recognize the form once we awaken, but in the dream, these changed forms point to familiar content.

Our sleeping dreams are another useful example of the denial, projection, and identification dynamic. When we’re asleep and dreaming, we deny the reality of our body in the bed, and we project a new story, a new reality, which includes those who are not us and the one with whom we identify. When we wake up, we recognize that we were the dreamer of the dream, not the figure in the dream with whom we had identified. We recognize that all of the figures were within our mind. There was no external reality to our dream. Everything in it was representative of something in our mind. That’s why so many therapists and psychologist spend so much time analyzing dreams; they often reveal what is actually going on in the depths of our minds. In general, we have become fairly comfortable with the notion that our sleeping dreams are symbolic and provide insight into what is in our mind. Rarely, do we consider that the same dynamic may play out in our seeming waking state.

So, as a symbol, what does the dream mean? What is the purpose of the dream? Freud offered some brilliant insight into our sleeping dreams. Freud said that there is one wish that every dream is intended to fulfill. Although the wish assumes various forms, the wish is always to stay asleep. We dream to avoid having to wake up, because we want to sleep. That is the purpose of the dream. Think about your sleeping dreams. Have you ever noticed that when the phone rings in the house or we have to go to the bathroom that we will work the sound or the discomfort into our dream? The purpose? To keep us asleep. The mind recognizes that in a conscious state we would pick up the phone or go to the bathroom, so it keeps us unconscious by working those stimuli into the dream. Dreaming is a defense against waking up. At some point in the dream, the desire to wake up overtakes the desire to sleep, and we wake up.

Mindful perception uses the metaphor of our sleeping dream to inform our waking experience. We are not saying that our waking experience and our sleeping experience are the same. Obviously, the forms are different, but as we’ve established, form is too variable, too subjective to be useful in this context. Purpose is what is important. What we are saying is that our everyday waking experience has the same purpose as our sleeping dreams. The purpose of both is to stay asleep. That’s the problem with perception.

Remembering to Laugh

If guilt is taking our judgment (specialness) seriously, then undoing our guilt (forgiveness) is not taking our judgment so seriously.

From ACIM T.27.VIII.6:2-3
Into eternity (Love, Heaven, Everything), where all is one, there crept a tiny, mad idea (attack, separation, specialness), at which the Son of God (all of us as one) remembered not to laugh . In his forgetting did the thought become a serious idea, and possible of both accomplishment and real effects. (Parentheses mine)

This clearly isn’t a derisive or divisive laugh. This is the gentle laugh, the compassionate smile, which accompanies changed purpose.

One of my favorite teachers was recently speaking to me about a specific problem with another person in his life. Like many of us who have considered such things, he was fairly quick to withdraw the projection of guilt from the other individual, but still identifying with part of the projection (his body), he became the object of his ire.

He said that now he just felt stupid – stupid for projecting. Yes, forgiveness recognizes that the guilt I see out there is a projection, so withdrawing it is useful. But don’t stop there. We can’t be here and not project guilt – either on somebody else or on ourselves. That’s what here is. The process of forgiveness then helps us recognize (undo) the purpose of here. Instead of justifying the guilt, forgiveness looks upon guilt with the gentle chuckle of recognition that it isn’t what it appears to be. Perhaps, for my friend, forgiveness was the journey from stupid to silly…and silly brought a smile.

“Stupid” reflects the wall of granite that we’ve interposed between ourselves and our Truth. It says the guilt is real and most importantly, justified. “Silly” changes the wall to a thin wispy veil, a veil so fragile that the tiniest breath surrenders it. Instead of beating ourselves up (taking the guilt seriously), we recognize that it was simply a silly mistake to think that everything could have an opposite and even sillier to think that nothing could have an effect.

Forgiveness is remembering – remembering that the decision for guilt is the problem and that a gentle smile of undoing is the solution.

So, remember to laugh from time to time today. Even if you don’t disappear into the heart of Love, you will feel better.

The Problem with Perception (Part 5 of 6)

Just Another Day at the Movies

Mindful perception is the idea that all of perception, everything we see and everything we experience, is the projected result of what we wish to be. Just like we project the guilt of the broken candy dish on a neighbor, we project the guilt of a broken identity on to the world. Mindful perception differs from Webster’s definition in one very important way. Mindful perception does not merely take cognizance of objects outside of the mind, but rather recognizes that we use perception to fulfill a goal. Mindful perception recognizes perception’s primary purpose: witnessing differences. Everything that I think is outside of my mind is really a reflection of what is inside. The world that we perceive is but a projection of our thought about the world and therefore our thought about ourselves. Mindful perception, then, recognizes that it is projection. All of it, everything I see, hear, smell, touch or taste, is a projection; again, a projection based on what I want myself to be.

Imagine your life as a big 3D movie – without the stylish glasses. There’s a beginning, an end, characters, plots, etc. In this movie, this one that we’ve dubbed “life,” we see no projector. Oh, it is there, but we’re not aware of it at all. With projector denied, we have no conscious memory of it, no memory that in fact we chose the film and flipped the “on” switch. This movie is our one “reality” and the only means by which we know ourselves. With no awareness that the movie is a projection, we seem to have little choice but to identify with it. We identify with what we split off to, what is left, and we deny what we split off from. The movie now seems to be where all the action is. It is our “life.” We look to the screen to inform us of who we are not - thereby establishing who we are. We interact with the characters and the images that we perceive, and we recognize ourselves as one of the characters in the film. Remember, we’re actually back there in the projection booth, but we’ve denied, projected, and identified ourselves out of the booth and on to the screen. We could simply change the film or turn off the projector, if we had the faintest hint that we had a choice.

Now, remember our definition of perception from part 1: perception is an illusion of reality based on our own interpretation of sensory data filtered through the lens of our own awareness. In our movie house, that lens of awareness is the lens of the movie projector. Whatever film is selected for the projector, your film, my film, etc. is filtered by this lens. If there is a smudge or a fly on the lens, it shows up on the screen. If it is blurry or out of focus, we don’t even know until somebody suggests that there might be another way to look at the screen and we whip out those smart glasses. Most of us are simply resigned to a blurry world. As for the fly? Knowing that there is a fly on the lens, most of us would agree that trying to kill the fly on the screen would be more than just a little insane; however, with no awareness of anything but the images on the screen, we continue to swat at the shadows.

Mindful perception changes the world immediately, because we experience the world differently. Instead of being a character in the movie, we begin to recognize that we are indeed the one in the projection booth running the projector playing the film of our choosing with the means to clean the lens or don the cool shades. We change the world by changing our orientation to the world. Mindful perception illuminates the causal relationship between one’s awareness (the lens) and what one perceives (the images on the screen). Mindful perception is not a physical experience but rather a psychological experience, an experience of meaning. The world that we perceive is a projection of our thought about the world. If we want to know what is in our mind, the film in the projector, mindful perception says that we simply need to look at the world, the movie. It is all there. It is all there, because we put it there. We put it there, because we need it there. Who we want to be depends on it.

The Problem with Teachers

We are all teaching – all of the time. Every minute of every hour of every day, we are teaching ourselves who we are. We are teaching ourselves that separation is real and wholeness is not, or we are teaching ourselves that Love is real and specialness is merely a crazy dream. The problem with teachers is that sometimes we forget.

Sometimes we get so caught up in the drama of our daily lives or the roles that we play, that we forget what is really going on here. Sometimes we think we’re teaching history or algebra. Sometimes we think we’re teaching joy or love. Sometimes we even think we are teaching A Course in Miracles! Oh certainly, in form we are teaching these things, but underneath, we are reinforcing a decision, the decision of identity. (And don’t be fooled into thinking that the one teaching history is doing anything different from the one teaching the blue book. They have the same purpose in the crazy dream, and they have the same purpose when released from the crazy dream.)

We teach what we most need to learn. The problem is that so often we are mistaken about what we are actually teaching - especially those of us who seem to be teaching spirituality and love. We teach what we most need to learn, because teaching and learning are the same. If Love is wholeness and oneness is our reality, we are both the teacher and the learner. Yes, it seems different in form. As is always the case, “seems” is the operative word. We are indeed but teaching ourselves.

Now, in the practical world of form, teaching and learning have some pitfalls, as one of my favorite and funky teachers recently pointed out. Here, in the world, these concepts seem like opposites. They seem like opposites, because here depends on opposites – or at least some fairly significant shades of gray. What we must remember, is that we make the decision for these differences. We always set the curriculum first, and then we use the world to prove our case believing that it is the world that is showing us what it is rather than us telling the world what it is. The form may indeed seem funky, but we choose what it means. We always choose the content.

If we believe we can teach something other than Love (and we all do), then we must believe that there is something other than Love. With that firmly established in our mind, we find opportunities that prove that we are great teachers of truth and light from time to time, and then we find equal opportunities that teach us that we have failed. We look upon a world that doesn’t “get it” and wish that it did, or we feel the guilt of our own failed lessons. Neither suits you, teacher. Let go of the judgment that creates the sense of obligation to do or say the “right” thing. We don’t know what love looks like. How could we with eyes that were made to stop at form? Teachers trust. Teachers recognize that removing the log of judgment from our own eyes is all that is required. There is no pressure to say or do the right thing. That vanishes in an instant of will when we recognize where the problem is and where it isn’t.

Teaching Love really means undoing (forgiving) all of the obstacles (guilt) that we have erected to keep Love away. Teaching Love means demonstrating that we are the same. We are the same in the insanity that imagines that teachers have something that students lack, and we are the same in the solution that reminds that teachers and students are one in purpose. Forgiveness is the process that undoes the former and makes way for the latter. So, thank you for being my teacher. Thank you for being my student. And thank you for forgiving me the judgment that would have them be different.

The Problem with Perception (Part 4 of 6)

The Candy Dish

Now, let’s talk about our favorite defense mechanisms - denial, projection, and identification. Do you remember that antique dish that Mom used to fill with butter mints for guests? It was the one in the living room that you weren’t supposed to touch. (If it wasn’t a candy dish, substitute your own “do not touch” memory here.) Imagine a time when you had all of your friends over for a round of your favorite board game: Monopoly, Clue, Risk, Scrabble, Life, Which Witch. (Anybody else remember that last one? Sorry, unintentional rabbit hole…) Imagine for a moment that your friends discover said candy dish, and as kids are wont to do, sample the fare. Your best bud unfortunately knocks the dish to the floor, and it breaks. Of course, fear would likely be the first response, but as we so often do, we cover over the fear with a plan. Super glue! The broken pieces are painstakingly reassembled, and the candy is returned to the mended dish. All seems well until Mom gets home.

Mom sees the muddy footprints near the table where the dish is, inspects the dish, and calls you over, front and center. You have to cop to the broken dish, but you instantaneously come up with a new plan. Believing that your best bud may not be welcome in the house if you tell the truth, you tell Mom that the neighbor kid, the one that she made you invite over, was the one that knocked off the dish. You try so hard to convince Mom that it was the neighbor that you even start to believe it yourself. At some point, perhaps weeks later, maybe years later, you may even forget that your best friend actually knocked off the dish.

What’s happened is an example of how we defend ourselves, how we make ourselves what we want to be, through denial, projection, and identification. Not wanting to experience the consequences of a circumstance, you deny the truth about it and project the responsibility of what happened onto somebody else. You (and your friend) now identify yourselves as innocents, and you attempt to get rid of the guilt by placing it outside of yourselves on your neighbor. The truth of the circumstance didn’t change. What you believe about it did; what you want to believe about it changed.

The same dynamic that plays out in childhood continues as we mature - at work, at home, in traffic, and even on the world stage. We can find example after example of denial, projection, and identification just about anywhere we choose to look. Few of us want to be the guilty one, the bad guy. Even more importantly, none of us want to be responsible for the whole of our circumstance. We always need somebody to shoulder at least some of the blame. Doesn’t matter if it is a person, a thing, a country, our body, the universe, even God, as long as we’re not responsible. Projection, again, is the defense mechanism that we employ to get rid of the responsibility of our guilt and the fear of its consequence. Sometimes it is overtly conscious, as in the example of the candy dish. More often than not, projection occurs unconsciously, as we so deeply identify with what projection left behind that we have no conscious memory of what the truth was before projection. Projection is a defense against the truth.

Prerequisite for Part 4

Denial, Projection and Identification

Most of you have likely had some exposure to these three concepts, but for those of you who may not and happen to be following The Problem with Perception posts, this quick primer may be useful.

Denial is a term used in psychology referring to a largely unconscious defense mechanism employed to manage thoughts and events that are too painful or too frightening to handle consciously. Ostensibly, defense mechanisms such as denial protect our psychological well-being from trauma, anxiety, and conflict. Many of us are familiar with the concept of denial via the language of twelve-step programs. Denial is a key component of an addict’s ability to continue destructive behaviors even when confronted with the devastating consequences of those same behaviors. Psychologists typically refer to three general types of denial: simple denial in which we deny the reality of the traumatic event altogether, minimization in which we admit the reality of the trauma but deny the seriousness or the impact, transference in which we admit both the reality and seriousness of the trauma but deny responsibility. We utilize the last as the primary means by which we keep the root of our problems hidden and our attention focused solely on where it is not.

Another term borrowed from psychology, projection, is also a largely unconscious defense mechanism in which one’s undesirable characteristics, motives, or thoughts are attributed to other people or externals. An individual perceives in others the attributes denied in one’s self. The concept was developed initially by Freud, further refined by his daughter, and formed the basis of Jung’s concept of the “shadow.” Projection seemingly reduces pain and anxiety by attempting to give them away with no conscious awareness or responsibility. Think about the people at work who always seem to be complaining about the mistakes of others. Instead of dealing with the undesirability of their own mistakes, they unconsciously project their flaws onto others, seeing mistakes in everyone else. This example also elucidates a fundamental relationship between denial and projection. Those who project are unconsciously denying a part of themselves that they are unwilling to recognize. In an attempt to rid themselves of this undesirable part, they project it externally. The old adage “It takes one to know one” or the newer “You spot it you got it” describe this process succinctly. What we see within our mind determines what we think is outside our mind.

Identification is the opposite defense mechanism to projection. Identification is what’s left, the other side of the coin, perhaps the other edge of the sword. Identification is who I believe I am: “me.” Every second of every minute of every hour of every day, we are making judgments, decisions, and choices about who we are. If I’ve projected my undesirable characteristics, my guilt, my laziness, my anger, etc. onto the world, I’m often left to identify with their opposites in me. For example, you are the bad guy; I am the good guy. You are the lazy one; I am the hard worker. We identify with what we believe to be or want to be true about ourselves, and we project that which we find undesirable, painful, or fearful onto others. Now, note that sometimes what we want to be true about ourselves may appear to be undesirable to others, but the dynamic works the same. Identification, then, is a wish fulfilled of what I would have myself be. I split off from what I deny, and move toward what I wish to be.

Hope that will help. Part 4 will follow early next week.

Keys to the Kingdom

When was the last time you forgot something? Can’t remember? ;)

Think about what memories are. Memories are the link between the present moment and the past. Without the memory, the past is dead to us. With the memory, it is as if it were happening right now. Sometimes we can even smell or taste the experience. Amazing things our memories.

So what happens when we forget? Well, the memory doesn't go anywhere; we just aren't able to access it. We know this, and we’ve developed a few fairly universal solutions:

1) We stop. We stop trying so hard to remember. We go for a jog or do some chores. Our experience has shown us that often when we stop struggling, the memory pops right in there.

2) We leave reminders. We tie a string around our finger. (Anybody actually still do that?) We make a list. We set something out in an unusual spot, so that we can’t miss it.

3) We run through everything that we were doing or thinking until we are left with the thing we forgot. How many times have you retraced your steps to discover your missing car keys?

All of these solutions work equally well when it comes to our spiritual journey.

Our problem is that we’ve forgotten. That’s all. We’ve forgotten who we are. We’ve forgotten what Love is. We’ve forgotten that guilt cannot be justified. Sure, we’ve made some fine substitutions here, but none bring us lasting peace. None reflect our Truth.

The good news is that if we’ve merely forgotten, we need only restore what was already there! So, just as we use the aforementioned techniques to link us to the past, we can utilize them to link us to our Truth.

1) We stop. We stop trying so hard to be spiritual, to understand, to get it. Our trying often only serves to reinforce the lack. The ego loves it when we turn spirituality into a race, debate, mountain to climb or lesson to learn. When we do so, we always prove the ego’s point – that there is something out there to attain. There isn’t. We are what we seek, yet we do not know where to look. So, stop. Give up your judgment of where and how. Give up your need to be right about who and when. Give up your belief about the problem. Let Love remind you.

2) Leave reminders. How? Give up your purpose for what you see. Instead of every symbol screaming of its difference, its specialness, allow everything you encounter today to be the reminder of where the problem really is. Let every breath you take be the reminder that you’ve only forgotten Love; it isn’t gone. Let every person you meet sing to you of their truth beyond what your eyes and ears seem to perceive.

3) Be Michelangelo. We do not have to do anything to be what we are. (This is why ACIM is a course in undoing the negative rather than a course in understanding or attaining the positive.) We do, however, have to let go of the seeming blocks of granite that we’ve placed between us and our Truth, between us and Love. Michelangelo often spoke of the beauty within his block of stone believing his only responsibility was to “hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition” or “carve until I set him free”. If we will but hew away all of the rough walls of judgment that block our awareness of Love, Love will dawn upon our mind, because that is what it is. Just as we retrace and eliminate each step to find the keys to our car, we retrace and eliminate each judgment, each defense, leaving us with nothing but the "keys" to the Kingdom.

The Problem with Perception (Part 3 of 6)

Hats, Saws, and Ticket Stubs

Remember the magician that we mentioned in part 1, the one that sawed her assistant in half? As we all know, sometimes rabbits go down holes, but at magic shows, rabbits are pulled out of hats. Now in real life we might be intrigued if somebody pulled a rabbit from a hat. We might think “Oh, what a cute bunny” or “What the heck is that guy doing with a rabbit in his hat?”, but pulling a bunny rabbit from a hat is a relatively innocuous event. If we actually witnessed somebody being sawed in half, however, we would be horrified, terrified, and disturbed. What’s the difference between our real life situation and the magic show? The difference is that at the magic show we recognize that an illusion is an illusion. What we perceive is not what our body’s eyes tell us it is. There is no difference between these tricks at the magic show, because they share the same content, i.e. they are both unreal. A decision was made right up front, probably when we saw the word “magic show” on our ticket stub, that nothing we were about to see would have any real effect. In the real life example there was no such notice, and we were quickly able to judge the bunny in the hat as harmless and the murder of the assistant as horrifying.

So, where are we going with this? Yep, we’re headed to our biggest rabbit hole so far. We have been taught that an illusion is an illusion, period. It is not what it seems to be. Something is either an illusion or it is real. There is no compromise. Seems pretty clear on paper. As I’m sure you’ve already recognized, our everyday life isn’t quite so easily categorized. Most of us are relatively comfortable with the idea that what we perceive is illusory, because it changes or because it is an interpretation. None of us are comfortable with the idea that pulling a rabbit from a hat and sawing a person in half are the same in this “reality,” even if they are both illusions. We are much more comfortable with a hierarchy of illusions, in which we place different values, different interpretations and different meanings on different illusions. For us, all illusions are not created equally; they are definitely not the same.

Go as far down that rabbit hole as you are willing. Are the magic tricks the same? Is a rock the same as a flower? Is a picture of an apple the same as the word “apple?” Is a cold the same as cancer? Is Mother Theresa the same as Osama bin Laden? Are spiritual people the same as the non-spiritual people? Are the Baptists the same as the Buddhists? What about the Bible and A Course in Miracles? The child and the child molester? I’m going to go way out on a limb here and say that if you are reading this post, these things are not the same for you. Just be aware. Be aware of your hierarchy of illusions. We all have one. Sure, the lines blur, our judgments change, but we all have one.

So, can we identify any characteristic which would make all of these seemingly different ideas the same? Well, we can identify one fairly readily: they are all different. Each one of these symbols at its most basic level tells us that it is different from the other symbols. Of course, we add layer upon layer to our symbols, but again, at their most basic level, the content of each of these says, “I’m different. I’m separate. I’m not like everything else.” We can argue about how different and jump right back into our “hierarchy of illusions,” but consider that at their most basic level these symbols all say, “I’m not like the others.”

Mindful perception recognizes that even though people, places, things, times, etc. are illusory and should be the same, they are not the same to us. We value the differences, and those differences are of utmost importance here. They are the things that keep the mutilated lady from being treated like a rabbit in a hat. So, everything here is different in form, but the primary content, the primary purpose, is to first establish the differences. Perception is the seemng witness to these differences. It is then our interpretation of the symbol, our interpretation of the differences, that determines how we feel about it, react to it, etc. There is no objective reality here. This is an extraordinarily important awareness, and we haven’t even made it to part 4 yet…

An Extra Point for Missouri

The Course speaks of our “little willingness” as the one requirement for peace of mind. As we have all experienced, “little” isn’t always so little. On the heels of yesterday’s post, I was reminded of a great little story about an Indian mystic and his approach to the subject.

How willing are you?

One morning a frustrated student approached his teacher, “You’ve said that my willingness was the only obstacle between me and enlightenment. Teacher, I’m willing, yet I don’t feel enlightened. How willing must I be?” The master simply requested that the student meet him at the river the following morning. Nothing else was said. The student, of course, had no idea what was to come, but he expected some sort of advanced dunking, washing, or maybe a bath. He’d always heard that cleanliness was next to godliness.

The next morning, without a word, the master motioned the student into the river. Placing his hands upon his head, he slowly guided the student under the calm waters. Fifteen seconds passed, and the master held firm. The student’s mind was filled with questions. What the heck was this all about? Why am I in the river? Why did I have to get up so early? Thirty seconds passed. The student began to wonder what the point was. He tried to remain calm and open to the experience, but he wanted a breath. He searched his oxygen-deprived brain for meaning.

After a minute, the student began to struggle violently for the surface. The master held firm, forcing the student deeper into the river’s lesson. At this point, the student began to panic. He could think of nothing but getting his next gasp of air. His mind became solely focused. The master let go. Upon surfacing, the student heard the master’s voice, “That willing.”


You will remember everything the instant you desire it wholly... (T.10.I.4:1)

The Problem with Missouri

“I’m Missouri”, exclaimed one of my favorite teachers, “I’m Missouri”! I knew what he meant. I grew up in the Midwest, and the “show me” state was an old friend of mine. What my friend was saying was, “When will I get it?” Show me. That’s a question we all ask at some point on our journey. In my experience, it usually slips out right before a significant shift, so let’s share my friend’s epiphany.

The problem with Missouri is the definition of “me”. Same for the rest of us. My friend did what we all do when we read A Course in Miracles or embark on any spiritual path. In the beginning, we think the “you” on the journey is the one we see in the mirror every day, the body. The body, which includes the brain, will never “get it”. It can’t. The body is a defense against getting it, because the body’s purpose is to continually reinforce that it is you – over and over and over and over – every second of every minute of every day. This hamster wheel of insanity is the foundation of the ego’s thought system, the thought system of differences, separation, and pain.

The ego can’t ask a meaningful question. The question, “When will I get it?”, isn’t a question at all but rather a statement in the form of a question. The statement is that this is me, separate and distinct, and I don’t get it. Neither is true. Both seem to be true. But neither is true.

We can’t understand the content of A Course in Miracles or any other path to Love from within the dream meant to keep it out. Einstein observed that the significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them. In this context, I can’t “get it” from here. My friend asked if I got it or if Wapnick got it. “Show me!”, he said. I reminded him that no body gets it. Bodies don’t “get”. Bodies don’t understand. Bodies do what they are told.

The Manual for Teachers (one of three sections in ACIM) asks, “How many teachers of God are needed to save the world?” The answer is one. Getting it means that we identify with the one dreamer of the dream and not one of billions and billions of figures (bodies) within the dream. Getting it means that we recognize that Wapnick getting it and my friend not getting doesn’t make any sense. How could wholeness not include both?

“So when will I get it?” An excellent question, because the answer leads us ever closer to home. I will get it when I am willing to give up my definition of me. I will get it when I am willing to let go of my purpose for the world. I will get it when I no longer wish to sleep. And all that is required is my will.

What do you want?

The Problem with Perception (Part 2 of 6)

Apples, Flowers, and Rocks

If I were to ask you right now what your problem is, most likely you would tell me, and you would use words to do it. The words in and of themselves are not the problem. They’re symbols, nothing more and nothing less. As symbols they are the means by which you attempt to share an idea. Communication is sharing. Effective communication is the joining of minds. It is the sharing beyond the symbol that unites minds in one thought. The problem lies in the link, the connection, between minds. When you share your problem with me, what is shared is dependent on the definition of the words in your mind, the definition of the words in my mind and whatever commonality may exist between the two. It isn’t exact. In fact, it is quite faulty. (Ask any lawyer or politician.) Not only are the words symbols but the ideas that they represent are symbols. The sounds of the letters that make the word “bird” are not a bird. Neither the idea of the bird in your mind nor the idea of the bird in my mind is the bird. The bird is at least twice removed from the symbol leaving plenty of room for error. Communication, as we experience it, is problematic right from the get-go.

Just as words are symbols, so are the things, concepts, and actions that they symbolize. Think of an apple. The image is a symbol. It carries with it all that you think about apples, the texture, taste, color, etc. It carries all of the experiences that you’ve had with an apple, the cool crisp ones, the mushy bland ones, the sour green ones, etc. I like apples. My mom liked apples. Adam ate from the apple. We could go on and on. In fact, symbols carry an infinite amount of information. How so? Think about what the apple is not. Every symbol carries that information as well.

Now think about a beautiful still life painting of an apple. Any difference? Again, this is a symbol, and all of the same thoughts apply. Think of a child’s drawing of an apple. Is it any less a symbol, because some of us may not recognize it as an apple? Is your thought of the child’s painting any different from an actual child’s painting? As a symbol of an apple, no. If a symbol says “apple” to the perceiver, that’s what it is. A symbol is a symbol, nothing more and nothing less. We decide the meaning. The meaning is the content of the symbol. This is what it represents to us, what its purpose is in our mind.

Now, think about a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Each of us will likely picture a different form. Some will imagine roses, while others will imagine tulips or a mixed spring bouquet. For many, the content of this symbol is romance, a gesture of thanks, etc. I have a girlfriend for whom the symbol carries a very different content. While married, her husband would bring her flowers after he cheated on her or abused her in some way. She really dislikes flowers. Same symbol; different content. She happens to like rocks, so a gesture of romance or thanks for her might be a cool piece of petrified wood or a fossil of some sort.

So, how do we determine what these symbols mean? Well, to start with, we always rely on the past. My girlfriend’s relationship with flowers depends solely on what happened in the past. For that matter, so does everybody else’s relationship with flowers. We know that flowers are beautiful or special, because we’ve learned these things in the past. The majority of our lives is spent analyzing and categorizing symbol after symbol after symbol. We reinforce these symbols every time we use them, adding layer upon layer upon layer.

Now, try to imagine for a moment that you can’t rely on your past learning to inform this present moment. Close your eyes for a second. When you open them, imagine that you have no idea what anything you see is or means. None of it. Everything is new. How does that feel? Frightening? Peaceful? Powerful? How would my friend react to a flower now? Do you think she would believe it beautiful? How would she know? If she couldn’t rely on her past learning, would she even know if a flower was beautiful or repulsive? Spend a little time today in that rabbit hole.

We can’t depend on the body’s eyes to tell us what we see. The body’s eyes always stop at form. It is the mind that decides what they see, and the mind’s judgment is always based on the past. Everything we perceive is a symbol with a meaning that we decide, a form with a content of our choosing. There isn’t a thing, concept, experience, etc. that isn’t a symbol of a thought in our mind. Mindful perception is the awareness that we supply content. We give purpose. Now, we’re playing with real power.

The Problem with Perception (Part 1 of 6)

Every problem in your life, every one, is a perception problem. Think about this for a minute. Think about the problems that confronted you today. Think about your health, bank account, relationships, work, laundry, or drive home. Whatever it is, how do you know you have it? The answer, of course, is simple. We see the pile of work on our desk. We feel the pain in our stomach. We hear the creditor’s phone call. We smell the motor burning up in our car. From this perspective, perception’s link to our problems is relatively clear. Perception is the medium of our problems, the medium of all experience. We’ll start there.

Webster defines perception as “the faculty by which man holds communication with the external world or takes cognizance of objects outside the mind.” Ostensibly, our senses, the seeming agents of our perception, bring data to the brain in the form of light waves, sound waves, nerve impulses, etc. As many of us know, or have heard, the brain then filters out most of what it deems unimportant, and we perceive what we unconsciously “think” is important. This is helpful, since interpreting some 400 billion bits of information per second is a little cumbersome when driving down the road!

Not only are we not seeing the whole of reality, but we all see what we see differently. Many of us have been in a psychology class or a criminology class during which an individual enters the room, usually in a hooded garment, accosts the professor, and takes his or her wallet or purse. Nobody in the class knows that it is a set-up except for the professor, who then asks the class to describe the perp. Inevitably, there are almost as many descriptions of the intruder and what happened as there are students in the class. Some say male; some say female. Some say he had a gun; some say she had a stapler. Some say the hoodie was black; some say the intruder was wearing a hat! Perception is faulty. It is not exact. It is never reality.

Science echoes the same. Nothing is as it seems. First, we recognize ourselves with our basic senses. We see our reflection in the mirror. We feel our legs, our arms, or our fingers. Quickly, science shows us that there is more to the story than meets the eye, as we discover that we are actually made up of countless cells, which we quickly realize are made up of an ever- enlarging number of smaller units, molecules, atoms, etc. Quantum physics comes along and says that when we look closer still, the distinction between our body and the chair upon which we sit begins to blur. Closer still, and there is nothing but infinite space, infinite possibilities. Similarly, what we experience evolves as our perceiving devices evolve. In the not-so-distant past, x-rays, ultrasound, and DNA didn’t exist for us, because we didn’t have the ability to perceive them. Were they there prior? Where does the image rendered by x-rays exist? Where is the sound which we label “ultra”? All of which may beg the age-old question, “If a tree falls in the woods, does it make a sound?” Simply: of course not. Sound depends on a perceiver. Sound, like all perception, is an interpretation of the brain, which is designed to receive the sound waves, transform them into a mental image, and give that image a name. Without the interpretation device, there is no sound. How could there be? Where would it be? A rabbit hole? Depends on if you perceive one.

Perception, then, is simply what we think we see, hear, feel, smell, or taste. Again, perception is never the whole picture; it is an interpretation of reality, a substitute for reality. Lau Tzu once opined, “That is real which never changes.” Perception depends on change. There must be a subject observing or experiencing an object or sensation that is different or changed in time, space, or even memory. Everything we perceive will change. Was it real before it changed? Is it real now? Perceptions are unreal, because they change.

So, if perception isn’t reality, then what is it? If something isn’t reality, by definition, it has to be an illusion. Illusions seem real, but they aren’t. When a magician saws her assistant in half, it seems real, but we know it isn’t. Perception is an illusion of reality based on our own interpretation of sensory data filtered through the lens of our own awareness. In other words, none of us look at the same situation or the same thing in exactly the same way. We all bring our own past experiences, thoughts, and beliefs to the table thus altering “reality” to fit our own understanding of what we have seen, heard, etc. Therefore, what I hear you say, or see you do, cannot help but be influenced by my own notions of the words that you have used, the tone in your voice, past experience, etc. There is no objective reality here. Whatever I see, it is I who determine what it means. Whatever I hear, it is I who determine what it is I’ve heard. Sure, we may collectively agree on some things, but I still choose. What we begin to realize as we bounce further down our current rabbit hole is that everything we perceive is actually a symbol for our own belief, our own thoughts, and our own awareness. Our belief then, actually determines what we perceive. Stay with me here. Since perception is the medium of our experience, and what we perceive is really our choice, it is only a bunny hop at most to conclude that what we experience is but our choice. What we experience is our choice. Read the last sentence one more time. Ponder it. Let it sink in. Depending on how far you are willing to go, there will likely be some pain, some resistance. It will pass.

Dave v. God (The ultimate smackdown)

The problem with Dave (insert your name here) is that he thinks today’s post title has meaning.

We all do. Dave’s will and God’s will are definitely not the same. We have all identified with the effect of a thought system based on specialness, individuality, separation, etc. instead of the cause. This seeming effect (the world, the body, etc.) is at odds (read: in competition) with a thought system based on wholeness, oneness, unity, etc. We choose between two mutually exclusive interpretations of the world. Separation can’t exist with wholeness. The purpose of this world, and therefore Dave, is as defense against (in competition with) wholeness (God). Note: Substitute whatever word works for you when I reference God: Source, Love, Heaven, Reality, etc.

So, that being said, I was reminded by a friend’s recent post that everything here reflects this tiny mad idea of competition described above – even single parents compete. Of course they do. Everything here does, because here is the result of competition! Remember the fulcrum of judgment? Judgment demands competition.

Think about your day. Is there anything in your experience that isn’t competing with something? We compete for jobs. We compete for love. Competition drives the price we pay at the pump, at the grocery, on the battle field. Survival of the fittest decides which species persists, which team wins, and the temperature in the car on a road trip with your spouse. Today competes with tomorrow. Here competes with there. Even your body competes with the empty space that it displaces. Nothing is immune. As we discussed in the last post, even Oprah competes with her own weight as she passionately exclaims that she doesn’t want to let the fat win!

Like everything else in our experience, the appropriate question to ask is, “What is this for?” In this world, competition witnesses our differences and reinforces our judgment, plain and simple. ACIM explains that we’ve chosen grandiosity (the result of competition) over grandeur (our inheritance). Unsatisfied with wholeness (grandeur), we’ve identified with (read: substituted) separateness (grandiosity). Grandiosity is our attempt to counteract our littleness (read: not wholeness) based on the belief that the littleness (Dave, you, etc.) is real. Does this mean we shouldn’t compete? No, not at all. Again, we can’t be here and not be in competition with something. Our goal is a changed purpose for the competition.

Quick note on “grandiosity”: Grandiosity comes in all forms. When we typically think of “grandiosity”, we think of an over-the-top expression of success, wealth, health, etc. We usually imagine a person living in the mansion on the hill and driving the bright red Ferrari. Don’t stop there. Everything here is grandiose. I could be the poorest person, the sickest person, or the biggest loser. I could be the most balanced person, most normal person, or the most non-grandiose person. The point is that we stand apart from the rest. Doesn’t matter where we fall on the grandiosity continuum (see-saw of judgment), it’s still grandiosity. It is still the result of competition and a belief in (a need for) separate interests.

So, where does that leave us? Well, the good news is that every second and every minute of every day gives us the opportunity to choose again, to choose against grandiosity and remember our grandeur, to use competition as the reminder of where the real competition is. The real competition is for our interpretation of the world. Salvation is the recognition of the choice. Which thought system do we choose? Do we reinforce and justify the grandiosity of our perceived separation or do we use the differences to reflect the sameness of shifted purpose?

PS - Recognizing our grandeur - our unity with God, Love, Source, each other - doesn’t mean that we are God (much to the dismay of many ACIM critics). To the contrary, it means that we are no longer willing to usurp his role by identifying with what we are not.

Thank you, Oprah, for being our teacher. (Where is the balance?)

I spent an hour with one of my favorite teachers this week. Well, actually it was more like 40 minutes thanks to Tivo. This was “Best Life Week” for Oprah, and a couple of episodes caught my attention.

Oprah is one of my favorite teachers for a couple of reasons: 1) She is a perpetual student, seemingly always interested in growth, understanding, and ultimately peace of mind, and she consistently challenges us to see things differently and share her journey. 2) Oprah has become one of our enduring symbols of success, yet she willingly demonstrates that she still struggles with the same seeming problems, and therefore core problem, that we all do. That’s helpful.

On last Tuesday’s show, Oprah talked about her ongoing struggle with weight. For our purposes, insert your own problem, whatever it is today, for “weight". In an amazingly open and sincere effort to conquer this “problem”, Oprah took the first step that all of us have to take. We have to simply be willing to give up the way that we’ve been looking at our seeming problem. After some fairly intense looking and consultation with Marianne Williamson and trainer Bob, Oprah recognized that what she was hungry for wasn’t food but love. Awesome. That’s the second step. Here’s where most of us struggle. What does that mean, and what’s next? For Oprah, it meant coming to the conclusion that the problem was balance. She spends so much time giving and living for others that she was ignoring herself, so she’s put herself back on the list scheduling work-out times, manicures, etc. That should indeed help….at least for a while.

So the points I’d like for us to ponder today are these:

1) We all must be vigilant against problem substitution. Because we believe the problem is here (in the world), we also believe the solution is as well. We are all very adept at giving up on yesterday’s solution (because it didn’t work) and substituting a new solution (thus seemingly shifting the problem). In Oprah’s case, we see the shift from “I want to be thin” to “I want to be healthy” – from diet and exercise to balance. Now, don’t hear me say that these things shouldn’t be pursued. If I’m heavy and I want to be thinner, there are typically things that I can do in form to change that. What I am suggesting is that we remember that not only is the weight not the problem but also that the seeming solution isn’t the new problem. We still take care of these things, because we believe that we’re here. But we also start to use them in a new way. We start to recognize that these seeming problems and seeming solutions are pointers to (reminders of) where the problem really is.

2) What is balance? From the perspective of the world, “balance” is the equalizing of competing or separate interests. Again, in Oprah’s example, she is trying to balance giving to the world with giving to herself. Certainly makes sense here. “Here” is all about this definition of balance. Everything “here” must be balanced. We balance sleep with waking. We balance the amount of food it takes to efficiently run our bodies with not enough food or too much food. We balance the amount of air we take into our lungs. We balance our relationships, our work, time with friends, speed going down the road, our bank accounts – all of it. Why? The world rests on a fulcrum of judgment. That’s what the world is. Think of the world as a see-saw. The see-saw’s purpose isn’t balance. It is set up to teeter one way or another. If I start spending more time on me, I’m spending less time on you. Eventually, the teeter totters, and I have to start spending more time with you. It’s the same for every seeming problem.

So, what’s the alternative? Using Oprah's example, until we remember that loving somebody else is loving ourselves (and vice versa), we’ll ride the see-saw of insanity back and forth loving somebody for a while then taking time to love ourselves for a while. We’ll never be balanced, because we’ll always be in flux, on one side of the fulcrum or the other. “Balance” really means equalizing. We can’t do that here. Yes, we all try, every minute of every day. We all try to figure out our own personal formula for balancing the world and achieving peace of mind, yet we can never really find it here. “Here” is always tipped one way or the other. Lasting balance will never be the result of manipulating “here” (form), because "here" always changes. Balance is the result of the changed purpose of “here” (content). Remember, the world is an outside picture of an inward condition. If we want to change the world, we must change our mind about the world – again, what that means is that we change the purpose of the world.

Balance is a decision, plain and simple. It’s the decision to give up our judgment, which really means that we don’t take our judgment so seriously (Remember, we look at our judgment without judgment). Again, it is our judgment that tells us where on the see-saw our experience is. (Is it up? Is it down? Is it left? Is it right?) When we change the purpose of the see-saw, we’ve changed our experience of it. Instead of the see-saw seemingly telling us what balance is or where balance is, we bring balance to the see-saw. The see-saw may not change, but instead of reinforcing our sub-conscious, out-of-balance decision, it now serves the purpose of reminding us that we made the decision. Now, that's helpful.

Instead of finding ourselves on the left or the right side of the see-saw and trying to figure out how to fix it, these two seemingly different forms (more of this or less of that) now serve to reflect the balance that we’ve chosen, the goal that we've set, because they share the same purpose. They’ve been equalized in content. They no longer serve the differences that our judgment demands. They now serve the sameness that undoing our judgment bestows. Now, they balance, no matter where on the see-saw they appear to be.

Again, we bring our balance to the situation or circumstance. When we bring our balance to the time-for-you/time-for-me question, we recognize that they are the same, which has the added benefit of removing the guilt from both. I can’t love you and not love me. I can’t love me and not love you. Now, we’re balanced. Now, the purpose of whatever we do is the same, and the world’s purpose is clear. Now, we know where the balance is.

PS I’m not in any way suggesting that Oprah’s quest for balance is or isn’t the result of what we’ve just discussed. There is no way to know by looking at behavior (form). What I am suggesting is that if abiding peace isn’t the result, she (we) may choose to look at what we think the problem is once again.

PPS Thank you, Oprah, for being our teacher.

Thanks for being my juror

To judge or not to judge, is that the question? Sure seemed to be earlier this week at the County Criminal Courthouse. What started as a less-than-heartening day of civic responsibility ended a profound pointer, a reminder, back to purpose.

Yes, I had been summoned for jury duty. I made it as far as I’ve ever made it. You see, I’ve never actually been on a jury, but I have made it to the voir dire phase several times. Perhaps being relatively liberal in a relatively conservative state has something to do with my failure to reach the box; I don’t know. In any event, the prosecution and the defense asked the usual questions, the ones conceived to cull the herd.

The typical pattern of extremes began to emerge. Hoping to dodge service, many swung hard to the right, “No sir, I could not sentence a guilty person to probation, even if the law allowed it. If he is guilty, he deserves the maximum punishment.” Others swung hard to the left, “No sir, I could not stand in judgment of another human being. That is not my place.” When asked if I could sit in judgment of another human being, I tried not to swing too hard either way, “No sir, I would not sit in judgment of another person, but I could judge a behavior in light of the law. I can separate the two.” My qualified answer seemed a bit lost on the defense council, but the process continued and eventually they sent me home….again.

So how do we reconcile the content of the Course with the task of determining a brother's guilt in a court of law? Well, turns out it is pretty easy when you stop to ask for help. The Course doesn’t ask us to give up our judgments, our special relationships; the Course merely asks us to look at them without judgment. Looking at our judgments without judgment is the essence of looking with the Holy Spirit. Being in our right mind is being in our wrong mind without judging it.

The practical reality is that I can’t be here and not judge. That’s what “here” is. Normal people can usually look at a set of facts and determine if those facts indicate an unlawful behavior. So can Course students. Being normal is imperative as we walk our path.

Believing that we can withdraw from judgment in this world merely reinforces our belief in it. Not making a decision is making a decision. Leaving that decision to somebody else is making a decision. Finding someone “guilty” of a crime does not mean that I witness the sin within them. To the contrary, we may find that we are merely limiting a brother’s ability to hurt him/herself or others. Could you not stop a child about to put his hand on a hot stove? Would you call it sin?

Please, don’t hear me say that the Course encourages us to sit on a jury. Do hear me say that the Course doesn’t tell us not to sit on one. Remember, this isn’t a course in behaviors. This is A Course in Miracles. Neither the seeming battleground of the courtroom nor the seeming battleground in our mind can keep us from shifted purpose unless we allow it.

That being said, wouldn’t you want you on your jury?