Gone Fishin'

So, what the heck is the problem with fishing you may ask! Oh, where to begin? Have you ever been fishing?

I’ve just returned from a fishing vacation. Some friends and I spent most of last week in hot pursuit of little green fish. That in and of itself could be the problem! The weather is always a problem. Sometimes, it’s the bugs, the tackle, the boat, the mood of said little green fish. Problem, problem, problem.

The seeming problem last week wasn’t the fishing. As most of us who have spent a long day on the water know, it was the catching! Sure, we caught some fish, but not the size or quantity that we expected. A friend sent me the following quote after our second day: “Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing it is not fish they are after.” Henry David Thoreau

A long-time fisherman, fan of Thoreau, and ACIM student, I have always held that quote dear. I’ve also said on many occasions that a true fisherman doesn’t have to catch fish to have fun. We had fun. Oh yes, we laughed a ton. But all of us had this tiny mad voice telling us that we should be disappointed, frustrated, etc. At times, some of us even listened.

Like everything else in our lives, the problem with fishing is that we think it is a problem. Actually, that is one of the things that I really love about it. To consistently catch fish, one must be able to solve puzzles. A good angler uses past experience, knowledge of seasonal patterns, weather, fish behavior, etc. to figure out where and how to get them into the boat. Of course, a puzzle isn’t necessarily a problem, and neither the fishing nor the catching was really the problem on our trip.

One problem; one solution.

The problem is that not catching fish threatened our identity. We all consider ourselves fairly good fishermen. A dear friend calls me “the fish whisperer”. I take conscious pride in my ability to consistently solve the puzzle! Last week, I couldn’t. I got the corner pieces and most of the sides, but the whole puzzle eluded me. Who was I?

Our little imaginary friend - the ego - defends our seeming identity tooth and nail. Who are we without our descriptions of ourselves, without our beliefs about ourselves, without our judgments? The ego is these beliefs. It depends on how we’ve “described” ourselves, because it is the differences (judgments). The fear over that loss of identity is what every single one of us experiences over and over and over, day-in and day-out. It is the disappointment, the frustration, the depression that we secretly delight in. Why? Because that fear reinforces who we want to be (separate, distinct, special, etc.) In the ego’s topsy-turvy world, wholeness is deprivation. Anything that chips away at our seeming individual identity is therefore perceived as a threat.

Think about your “fishing”. Are you a good mom? A good friend? A talented artist or skilled professional? Do you have a green thumb? Are you a master in the kitchen? Are you spiritual? Maybe smart or funny? Perhaps, you are unlucky, unhappy, or unfairly treated. What defines you? What causes some discomfort when it is seemingly taken away?

Spend a few minutes with yourself today – not as you define yourself but as you are. Try to move beyond the descriptions. Who are you without these ideas? Who is the you asking the question?

See you on the water.

Ego v. Godzilla

At some point along our journey, each of us asks, “How did the ego happen?” Or “To whom did it happen?” These are very logical questions from here. Having identified with the ego thought system, we think we are the ego thought system. We spend every minute of every day learning about the ego thought system – how its laws and commandments effect us. We learn about the decision for the ego thought system, as we travel our road home. We even begin to understand the motivation for the ego thought system, as we absorb the teachings of the Course or other spiritual paths. Logically, we then want to know how it happened. How did everything spawn nothing? How did something other than Love occur? If you haven’t asked this question, you will. We all do.

There are a couple of very important things to consider when confronted with these questions:

1) Remember that the Course and indeed the world are metaphors. Neither are the truth; both represent what we deem to be true. God and His Son (all of us) are One in Heaven, period. Everything after that seemed to happen. "Seemed" is the operative word. The ego seemed to happen. Separation and attack seemed to happen. As we work up the ladder of Forgiveness, all of these symbols begin to disappear. Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the Right Mind, the wrong mind, the decision maker, the tiny mad idea, the Son - all of these are symbols along the ladder. Symbols are symbols. They are not reality.

2) Consider whether the question is really a question at all. Consider that asking how the ego happened may be a statement in the form of a question. The statement is that the ego did happen and that separation and attack are possible. The question is a statement of what we’ve already deemed true. The question is propaganda for a lie.

An example I often use to illustrate the point is the following question: How did Godzilla eat New York? To most of us, this question is more obviously a statement in the form of a question. The statement is that Godzilla ate New York. Now, based on our awareness of what is “true”, most of us don’t believe in Godzilla, and we certainly don’t believe that he ate New York. Both, however, are clearly inextricable from this question. From our point of view, the question is insane - at least a little silly.

The ego doesn’t know what questions to ask, but not aware of an alternative point of view, we accept the ego’s insane questions hook, line and sinker. This illustrates one of the fundamental obstacles to peace. We, believing in the reality of the ego thought system, constantly try to bring the Truth to the lie. We try to reconcile Godzilla with reality. We can't. And it doesn't matter how much we intellectually "understand" the teachings of the Course or our chosen path. At some point, we recognize that even our “understanding” is an obstacle. We can’t “understand” what isn’t really there. We simply wake up, and Peace will be right there, where it was the whole time.

So, today, stop trying to reconcile the ego with the Truth. In the battle between the Ego and Godzilla, there is no winner, because neither exists and battle is impossible. Notice today, however, how badly you want one of them to triumph – how badly the “truth” about who you think you are depends on it. It’s okay. Awareness of what we thought we wanted is the first step toward remembering what we really want.

Our Quest for Truth

Truth is absolute. A little bit of falsity, a little bit of error, renders Truth untrue. Truth has to be true to be Truth! The point is that something is either true or false. Something is either real or illusion. There are no compromises here. Our True Identity is the same. We are exactly as we were created, whole, indivisible, at one with our Source, completely at peace. That being said, we have no experience of that absolute. How could we? Experience by definition is a unique thing different from other experiences. Non-duality is the condition of Truth. There is nothing other. There is nothing else. We live in a world of duality, a world of differences and experiences. Our goal is not to understand or experience Truth. Neither is possible. Our goal is to experience the reflection of Truth in our seeming world of duality and differences. The reflection of Truth is experienced when we are no longer willing to lie to ourselves anymore. Our quest is that simple and that difficult.

The Problem with Fear

We are all afraid, all of the time. Sure, sometimes we feel safer than others. Sometimes we even believe that we can find safety here. We know, though, that it won’t last. On some level, we know that we compromise with fear every minute of every day.

The problem with fear is that we aren’t aware of its source. We think our fear is due to some external threat such as a disease, the bad guys, acts of God, etc. We spend every waking hour (consciously or not) defending against these myriad concerns. Defenses don’t protect us; they simply reinforce attack. Fear is always the result of a belief in attack.

Fear is an effect of the ego thought system, a delusional thought system dependent on attack and guilt. Fear is the result of a thought, a tiny mad idea, which we’ve given power and consequence. If we recognized for a second that a thought was the source of our fear, we’d change our mind, and Peace would remain.

Having identified with this thought system, however, we protect it as if our life depended on it. What we think is our life does. The only way to undo the fear is to recognize its source and decide against it. Within the ego’s thought system, we have no awareness that there is another way. (Remember, the feedback loop from a previous post.) That’s why we need help. We need a symbol beyond the insanity, beyond the closed thought system. Forgiveness is that symbol – whatever form it happens to take. The content of the symbol, i.e. that guilt is impossible and never justified, is the solution.

We can’t untie a knot until we stop hanging from the rope. Likewise, we can’t undo our fear until we stop hanging on to (or from) our guilt. Undo the guilt, and the fear will follow.

Our Invitation to Healing

When we pull up to an intersection and somebody approaches us looking for some change, the rubber of our spiritual journey indeed meets the road of our everyday life. The practical application of our study, our path, meets us head on. Do we drop some change in the cup?

Thankfully, this isn’t A Course in Behavior.

Remember, the problem isn’t where we think it is. The question isn’t A or B.

Most of us could construct a moral argument for giving the dollar or not giving the dollar, and many would argue about what the “loving” thing to do is. Isn’t it amazing that we think that we know? Isn’t it funny that we think that we know AND that we think that there could be an alternative to Love? That simple conflict should be a fairly significant clue that we have no idea about Love. Our judgment about the receiver of the dollar, the giver of the dollar, and the value of the dollar, keeps Love from our awareness.

The only question worth asking of anything in this world is “What is it for?” What is its purpose? The dilemma over the dollar has a clear purpose. It says that the problem is out there and so is the solution. It reinforces the judgment that makes A or B meaningful. It clouds our vision of our brother.

Like every other external question in our lives, the seemingly conflicted form can serve a new purpose, too. It can remind us that the problem isn’t out there, and the problem isn’t a question. The problem is a decision.

The decision for guilt is the glue that binds the fragmented world of form together in one twisted purpose. It is the decision for guilt that gives A or B meaning. It is this decision that imprisons us to conflict, attack, and pain. When we recognize that the problem is a decision, we’re halfway home. Now, all that is required is the little willingness to give up what we’ve chosen by recognizing that we no longer want it.

Practically, when we are willing to decide against all of the obstacles (our judgments) that we’ve erected between ourselves and Love, Love is free to flow through us and inform whatever situation or circumstance in which we find ourselves. In other words, when I forgive myself for judging my brother, judging myself, and judging the value of my gift, Love will take whatever form best symbolizes that decision in that moment. It could be that I give a dollar; it could be that I do not. It could be that I offer a smile; it could be that I offer a meal. Again, it isn’t the form that determines value; it is the content. What am I offering? What is my brother offering? When the answer to those questions are the same, peace is the result.

Remember, ACIM is not a positive course in that it doesn't teaches us what to do; it is a course in undoing the negative. ACIM is a course in removing the obstacles that we’ve placed between who we think we are and our True Identity. ACIM is a course in looking. It is in the looking that we recognize what we’ve chosen and that we no longer want it. That’s where healing starts. That’s what every brother is offering. That’s what everything is for.

But look upon a forgiven world, a world released from guilt, and you are transformed. The sickness that we perceive is but our invitation to heal.

You too?

"The right to be ridiculous is something that I hold dear." Bono

"Me too." Dave