Much has been written. Much hashed and rehashed. So many of us have expended so much energy trying to understand, control, and eliminate these so-called destructive behaviors that we call “addictions”. So often we ask Jesus, God, or the Universe to take them away. So often we teach our students that addiction is a choice and that acting from addiction is wrong. How blinded we are to own.
As ACIM students, we must be vigilant against the temptation to perceive worldly addictions (drinking, gambling, gluttony, smoking, drugs, sex etc.) as different from our own...unless one of them happens to be our own! Our addiction, though, is never to these forms. Our addiction is to the teacher that has convinced us that these behaviors are the problem.
First, we must recognize that sometimes understanding, controlling or eliminating a destructive behavior can be very useful. Sometimes we must curtail our drinking, gambling, etc. in order to clear our thinking enough to even consider that there must be another way; however, as students of ACIM, we must quickly recognize that these behaviors were never the problem.
Our addiction is to the world, not the booze, not the royal flush. Our addiction is to the real problem, the decision to listen to the ego’s interpretation of the tiny mad idea (attack).
Every thing here is an addiction. The belief that there are some behaviors that are “wrong” and some that are not is part of the insanity that keeps us rooted in our singular addiction. We certainly don’t invest the energy and concern trying to heal ourselves from our addiction to air, yet it serves the same purpose in our mind. What folly to follow the teacher that tells us that we should eliminate addiction from our lives and takes another breath. What hypocrisy! What hypocrisy indeed. The teacher of addiction is the thought of hypocrisy, so we shouldn’t be too surprised.
We return to this teacher every minute of every day believing that our safety lies with him, as we take another drink to take the edge off, look to the inside straight to supply the rush or give us hope, or take another breath believing our life depends on it. No, it isn’t the booze, and it isn’t the cards. Our addiction is to a teacher, and that teacher is a substitute. We believe that without this teacher’s counsel that we’ll surely perish. Remember to laugh, my friends, remember to laugh.
So, on your next breath, use it as it is meant to used. Allow this breath to be the reminder that you need do nothing to be what you are. Allow this breath to be the reminder that the power of addiction is no match for the power of decision. Allow this breath to remind you that attack is impossible and that guilt is never justified. Now, you are using addiction as it was intended. Now, you have chosen the Teacher who represents our True Addiction. Now, you remember no need.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Seek and Do Not Find
What is it that you seek? Most of us just want to be happy…at least that’s what we think we want. The problem is that we seek for that happiness where it cannot be found. We seek for health, wealth, and love in a world made to keep these out. We wander this desert like nomads seeking water from a mirage to quench our thirst. Think about your life; think about your day. What have you found? What hasn’t changed or won’t change? What hasn’t failed or won’t fail? What hasn’t been lost? The breath you just took wasn’t enough. The rest that you found last night isn’t enough this evening. The love of your spouse yesterday wasn’t enough for today. So, we seek more. This is the promise of the ego thought system. It is the one promise that it keeps: Seek and do not find.
The reason is obvious when you stop to look, but you do have to look. The ego is an attack thought. Unable to love, the ego would be meaningless in love’s presence, so by definition, it cannot find what we really seek. We are left in the seemingly untenable position of seeking what we believe would destroy us. Love has become a Medusa-like thought upon which we must never look. The only option, then, is to distort love into something upon which we can look, something upon which the ego can survive. And that’s what we do. We seek love in attack, and we find it in sacrifice. Think about the world’s idea of love. We demonstrate the depth of our love by what we are willing to give up. Love becomes a bargain, and we barter for our lives. The martyr is revered. Sacrifice, divine.
Thankfully, there is a solution to this seemingly inescapable loop of doom! The solution is looking - recognizing that what we seek isn’t out there. We are what we seek. We’ve just forgotten what we are. As long as we keep looking without, we’ll never look within, which means we aren’t really looking.
We are indeed nomads, but of course, it isn’t the water for which we thirst. The water is but a substitute. The air is a substitute. All of it is a substitute. Not what we truly seek, these flimsy substitutions never quench our thirst. We’re stuck on a hamster wheel, too afraid to stop. The seeker can never find until he/she is willing to stop the wheel. Looking stops the wheel, and Forgiveness is looking. Forgiveness changes the purpose of the world we see and the eyes with which we see it. Forgiveness reflects what was never lost, and our frantic search disappears into the nothingness from which it sprang. Forgiveness is that for which we thirst, and it is that which reminds us that we were never thirsty.
Geez, these pretzels are making me thirsty. Gotta go get a drink….Cheers!
The reason is obvious when you stop to look, but you do have to look. The ego is an attack thought. Unable to love, the ego would be meaningless in love’s presence, so by definition, it cannot find what we really seek. We are left in the seemingly untenable position of seeking what we believe would destroy us. Love has become a Medusa-like thought upon which we must never look. The only option, then, is to distort love into something upon which we can look, something upon which the ego can survive. And that’s what we do. We seek love in attack, and we find it in sacrifice. Think about the world’s idea of love. We demonstrate the depth of our love by what we are willing to give up. Love becomes a bargain, and we barter for our lives. The martyr is revered. Sacrifice, divine.
Thankfully, there is a solution to this seemingly inescapable loop of doom! The solution is looking - recognizing that what we seek isn’t out there. We are what we seek. We’ve just forgotten what we are. As long as we keep looking without, we’ll never look within, which means we aren’t really looking.
We are indeed nomads, but of course, it isn’t the water for which we thirst. The water is but a substitute. The air is a substitute. All of it is a substitute. Not what we truly seek, these flimsy substitutions never quench our thirst. We’re stuck on a hamster wheel, too afraid to stop. The seeker can never find until he/she is willing to stop the wheel. Looking stops the wheel, and Forgiveness is looking. Forgiveness changes the purpose of the world we see and the eyes with which we see it. Forgiveness reflects what was never lost, and our frantic search disappears into the nothingness from which it sprang. Forgiveness is that for which we thirst, and it is that which reminds us that we were never thirsty.
Geez, these pretzels are making me thirsty. Gotta go get a drink….Cheers!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Today We Remember
In a tiny instant of madness, terror seemed to take the place of Love. Crucifixion seemed to have meaning. Wholeness seemed but a dream.
Imprisoned by fear, we but continue to forget. That’s all.
Today We Remember.
Today we remember that Love casts out all fear. Today we remember that attack has no real effect. Today we remember the Self that seemed but a dream.
Resurrection is remembering. It is the undoing of guilt that shines away all pain, all suffering, and all terror. In an instant of decision, the memory of Love, undivided, resurrects in a mind willing and free. Resurrection is the dawning on your mind of what is already in it.
Happy Easter Everybody.
Imprisoned by fear, we but continue to forget. That’s all.
Today We Remember.
Today we remember that Love casts out all fear. Today we remember that attack has no real effect. Today we remember the Self that seemed but a dream.
Resurrection is remembering. It is the undoing of guilt that shines away all pain, all suffering, and all terror. In an instant of decision, the memory of Love, undivided, resurrects in a mind willing and free. Resurrection is the dawning on your mind of what is already in it.
Happy Easter Everybody.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
The Problem with Your Brother
And by “brother”, I mean brother, sister, mother, father, spouse, friend, neighbor, stranger, etc. The problem with anyone is yours. Doesn’t matter if we are talking about the girl who cut you off in traffic, the guy who stole your car, or the person at work who is just plain ol’ irritating. Our problem is that we can’t see them. We can’t see them, because we see the world through a lens of judgment that hides the truth about everyone. In effect, the world that we see is the denial of truth. We are like children with the covers pulled over our head hoping that the monsters won’t find us.
ACIM says that Miracles are merely the translation of denial into truth. Of course! Our healing comes when we are no longer willing to lie about each other, no longer willing to lie to ourselves, and no longer willing to believe that there is safety in either. Forgiveness is the denial of the denial of truth. Rather than hiding from it, forgiveness gives us eyes to see it.
Whatever the problem, there is but one solution. Our problem with our brother is our own. We will be made whole as we make whole. We make whole by looking - not by hiding. Giving up the distorted lens of fear, hatred, and attack, we see the call for love that resides behind every problem, behind every brother. See your brother truly and recognize yourself. T.12.II.2.9 To perceive the healing of your brother as the healing of yourself is thus the way to remember God.
Before we awaken, we have to take off the covers.
ACIM says that Miracles are merely the translation of denial into truth. Of course! Our healing comes when we are no longer willing to lie about each other, no longer willing to lie to ourselves, and no longer willing to believe that there is safety in either. Forgiveness is the denial of the denial of truth. Rather than hiding from it, forgiveness gives us eyes to see it.
Whatever the problem, there is but one solution. Our problem with our brother is our own. We will be made whole as we make whole. We make whole by looking - not by hiding. Giving up the distorted lens of fear, hatred, and attack, we see the call for love that resides behind every problem, behind every brother. See your brother truly and recognize yourself. T.12.II.2.9 To perceive the healing of your brother as the healing of yourself is thus the way to remember God.
Before we awaken, we have to take off the covers.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Tofu or not tofu? That is the question!
Ever had hot dog tofu? Me either. Who knew it even existed? I mean, wow. Little did I expect the lesson that it conceals.
Recently, our good friend Bob shared how working with ACIM has been leading him to see the sameness of all of our problems and the sameness of his personal daily experiences. He has started seeing beyond varying forms to the singular content behind them all. It was a moving description. Then, he hit us with it….tofu. Bob turned bean curd into an unforgettable lesson in forgiveness. For this, we clearly owe our gratitude.
You see, it seems that tofu is not our Father’s tofu anymore. Some of us crazy kids have taken it to new levels. Apparently, there are flavors of tofu for every occasion and need….or seeming need. There are all manners of fruit flavors, meat flavors, and of course, the old standby - stinky tofu. There’s spicy Thai flavored tofu, portabella ham, spinach jalapeño, and shitake garlic flavored tofu. And yes, even hot dog tofu. As Bob so passionately exclaimed, “But it is all still tofu!”
Indeed it is. And such is the world. Nothing here is as it seems. Everything here is a cover, an interpretation, and interpretation is never reality. We are so lost in our myriad flavors that we’re no longer aware of their source. As such, we never respond to anything directly. We respond to what we think it is, and we justify our response based on something other than reality. We eat the hot dog flavored tofu and believe it is a hot dog.
Our judgment of each other is the means by which we keep this unreality in our awareness. We never see each other as we are, but rather as we need each other to be. We need each other to be the myriad flavors when in reality, the flavors are but a mask pulled over who we really are. We gladly don the masks terrified by what they obscure.
When we identify with our little buddy, the ego, (and we all do), we spend most every hour of every day analyzing our own distorted perceptions (the masks) in an attempt to demonstrate that we understand what we see, hear, and experience, never realizing that we are analyzing nothing but a flimsy veil, a trick-or-treaters masquerade .
T.12.I.3.3-5 Every loving thought is true (read: tofu). Everything else (read: flavors) is an appeal for healing and help, regardless of the form it takes. Can anyone be justified in responding with anger to a brother’s plea for help?
Our call is but to recognize the flavors as what they are - our brother’s plea to remind him that he isn’t a hot dog. He, too, is tofu, just like you.
I gotta go eat.
Recently, our good friend Bob shared how working with ACIM has been leading him to see the sameness of all of our problems and the sameness of his personal daily experiences. He has started seeing beyond varying forms to the singular content behind them all. It was a moving description. Then, he hit us with it….tofu. Bob turned bean curd into an unforgettable lesson in forgiveness. For this, we clearly owe our gratitude.
You see, it seems that tofu is not our Father’s tofu anymore. Some of us crazy kids have taken it to new levels. Apparently, there are flavors of tofu for every occasion and need….or seeming need. There are all manners of fruit flavors, meat flavors, and of course, the old standby - stinky tofu. There’s spicy Thai flavored tofu, portabella ham, spinach jalapeño, and shitake garlic flavored tofu. And yes, even hot dog tofu. As Bob so passionately exclaimed, “But it is all still tofu!”
Indeed it is. And such is the world. Nothing here is as it seems. Everything here is a cover, an interpretation, and interpretation is never reality. We are so lost in our myriad flavors that we’re no longer aware of their source. As such, we never respond to anything directly. We respond to what we think it is, and we justify our response based on something other than reality. We eat the hot dog flavored tofu and believe it is a hot dog.
Our judgment of each other is the means by which we keep this unreality in our awareness. We never see each other as we are, but rather as we need each other to be. We need each other to be the myriad flavors when in reality, the flavors are but a mask pulled over who we really are. We gladly don the masks terrified by what they obscure.
When we identify with our little buddy, the ego, (and we all do), we spend most every hour of every day analyzing our own distorted perceptions (the masks) in an attempt to demonstrate that we understand what we see, hear, and experience, never realizing that we are analyzing nothing but a flimsy veil, a trick-or-treaters masquerade .
T.12.I.3.3-5 Every loving thought is true (read: tofu). Everything else (read: flavors) is an appeal for healing and help, regardless of the form it takes. Can anyone be justified in responding with anger to a brother’s plea for help?
Our call is but to recognize the flavors as what they are - our brother’s plea to remind him that he isn’t a hot dog. He, too, is tofu, just like you.
I gotta go eat.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Gone Fishin'
So, what the heck is the problem with fishing you may ask! Oh, where to begin? Have you ever been fishing?
I’ve just returned from a fishing vacation. Some friends and I spent most of last week in hot pursuit of little green fish. That in and of itself could be the problem! The weather is always a problem. Sometimes, it’s the bugs, the tackle, the boat, the mood of said little green fish. Problem, problem, problem.
The seeming problem last week wasn’t the fishing. As most of us who have spent a long day on the water know, it was the catching! Sure, we caught some fish, but not the size or quantity that we expected. A friend sent me the following quote after our second day: “Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing it is not fish they are after.” Henry David Thoreau
A long-time fisherman, fan of Thoreau, and ACIM student, I have always held that quote dear. I’ve also said on many occasions that a true fisherman doesn’t have to catch fish to have fun. We had fun. Oh yes, we laughed a ton. But all of us had this tiny mad voice telling us that we should be disappointed, frustrated, etc. At times, some of us even listened.
Like everything else in our lives, the problem with fishing is that we think it is a problem. Actually, that is one of the things that I really love about it. To consistently catch fish, one must be able to solve puzzles. A good angler uses past experience, knowledge of seasonal patterns, weather, fish behavior, etc. to figure out where and how to get them into the boat. Of course, a puzzle isn’t necessarily a problem, and neither the fishing nor the catching was really the problem on our trip.
One problem; one solution.
The problem is that not catching fish threatened our identity. We all consider ourselves fairly good fishermen. A dear friend calls me “the fish whisperer”. I take conscious pride in my ability to consistently solve the puzzle! Last week, I couldn’t. I got the corner pieces and most of the sides, but the whole puzzle eluded me. Who was I?
Our little imaginary friend - the ego - defends our seeming identity tooth and nail. Who are we without our descriptions of ourselves, without our beliefs about ourselves, without our judgments? The ego is these beliefs. It depends on how we’ve “described” ourselves, because it is the differences (judgments). The fear over that loss of identity is what every single one of us experiences over and over and over, day-in and day-out. It is the disappointment, the frustration, the depression that we secretly delight in. Why? Because that fear reinforces who we want to be (separate, distinct, special, etc.) In the ego’s topsy-turvy world, wholeness is deprivation. Anything that chips away at our seeming individual identity is therefore perceived as a threat.
Think about your “fishing”. Are you a good mom? A good friend? A talented artist or skilled professional? Do you have a green thumb? Are you a master in the kitchen? Are you spiritual? Maybe smart or funny? Perhaps, you are unlucky, unhappy, or unfairly treated. What defines you? What causes some discomfort when it is seemingly taken away?
Spend a few minutes with yourself today – not as you define yourself but as you are. Try to move beyond the descriptions. Who are you without these ideas? Who is the you asking the question?
See you on the water.
I’ve just returned from a fishing vacation. Some friends and I spent most of last week in hot pursuit of little green fish. That in and of itself could be the problem! The weather is always a problem. Sometimes, it’s the bugs, the tackle, the boat, the mood of said little green fish. Problem, problem, problem.
The seeming problem last week wasn’t the fishing. As most of us who have spent a long day on the water know, it was the catching! Sure, we caught some fish, but not the size or quantity that we expected. A friend sent me the following quote after our second day: “Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing it is not fish they are after.” Henry David Thoreau
A long-time fisherman, fan of Thoreau, and ACIM student, I have always held that quote dear. I’ve also said on many occasions that a true fisherman doesn’t have to catch fish to have fun. We had fun. Oh yes, we laughed a ton. But all of us had this tiny mad voice telling us that we should be disappointed, frustrated, etc. At times, some of us even listened.
Like everything else in our lives, the problem with fishing is that we think it is a problem. Actually, that is one of the things that I really love about it. To consistently catch fish, one must be able to solve puzzles. A good angler uses past experience, knowledge of seasonal patterns, weather, fish behavior, etc. to figure out where and how to get them into the boat. Of course, a puzzle isn’t necessarily a problem, and neither the fishing nor the catching was really the problem on our trip.
One problem; one solution.
The problem is that not catching fish threatened our identity. We all consider ourselves fairly good fishermen. A dear friend calls me “the fish whisperer”. I take conscious pride in my ability to consistently solve the puzzle! Last week, I couldn’t. I got the corner pieces and most of the sides, but the whole puzzle eluded me. Who was I?
Our little imaginary friend - the ego - defends our seeming identity tooth and nail. Who are we without our descriptions of ourselves, without our beliefs about ourselves, without our judgments? The ego is these beliefs. It depends on how we’ve “described” ourselves, because it is the differences (judgments). The fear over that loss of identity is what every single one of us experiences over and over and over, day-in and day-out. It is the disappointment, the frustration, the depression that we secretly delight in. Why? Because that fear reinforces who we want to be (separate, distinct, special, etc.) In the ego’s topsy-turvy world, wholeness is deprivation. Anything that chips away at our seeming individual identity is therefore perceived as a threat.
Think about your “fishing”. Are you a good mom? A good friend? A talented artist or skilled professional? Do you have a green thumb? Are you a master in the kitchen? Are you spiritual? Maybe smart or funny? Perhaps, you are unlucky, unhappy, or unfairly treated. What defines you? What causes some discomfort when it is seemingly taken away?
Spend a few minutes with yourself today – not as you define yourself but as you are. Try to move beyond the descriptions. Who are you without these ideas? Who is the you asking the question?
See you on the water.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Ego v. Godzilla
At some point along our journey, each of us asks, “How did the ego happen?” Or “To whom did it happen?” These are very logical questions from here. Having identified with the ego thought system, we think we are the ego thought system. We spend every minute of every day learning about the ego thought system – how its laws and commandments effect us. We learn about the decision for the ego thought system, as we travel our road home. We even begin to understand the motivation for the ego thought system, as we absorb the teachings of the Course or other spiritual paths. Logically, we then want to know how it happened. How did everything spawn nothing? How did something other than Love occur? If you haven’t asked this question, you will. We all do.
There are a couple of very important things to consider when confronted with these questions:
1) Remember that the Course and indeed the world are metaphors. Neither are the truth; both represent what we deem to be true. God and His Son (all of us) are One in Heaven, period. Everything after that seemed to happen. "Seemed" is the operative word. The ego seemed to happen. Separation and attack seemed to happen. As we work up the ladder of Forgiveness, all of these symbols begin to disappear. Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the Right Mind, the wrong mind, the decision maker, the tiny mad idea, the Son - all of these are symbols along the ladder. Symbols are symbols. They are not reality.
2) Consider whether the question is really a question at all. Consider that asking how the ego happened may be a statement in the form of a question. The statement is that the ego did happen and that separation and attack are possible. The question is a statement of what we’ve already deemed true. The question is propaganda for a lie.
An example I often use to illustrate the point is the following question: How did Godzilla eat New York? To most of us, this question is more obviously a statement in the form of a question. The statement is that Godzilla ate New York. Now, based on our awareness of what is “true”, most of us don’t believe in Godzilla, and we certainly don’t believe that he ate New York. Both, however, are clearly inextricable from this question. From our point of view, the question is insane - at least a little silly.
The ego doesn’t know what questions to ask, but not aware of an alternative point of view, we accept the ego’s insane questions hook, line and sinker. This illustrates one of the fundamental obstacles to peace. We, believing in the reality of the ego thought system, constantly try to bring the Truth to the lie. We try to reconcile Godzilla with reality. We can't. And it doesn't matter how much we intellectually "understand" the teachings of the Course or our chosen path. At some point, we recognize that even our “understanding” is an obstacle. We can’t “understand” what isn’t really there. We simply wake up, and Peace will be right there, where it was the whole time.
So, today, stop trying to reconcile the ego with the Truth. In the battle between the Ego and Godzilla, there is no winner, because neither exists and battle is impossible. Notice today, however, how badly you want one of them to triumph – how badly the “truth” about who you think you are depends on it. It’s okay. Awareness of what we thought we wanted is the first step toward remembering what we really want.
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