So, what the heck is the problem with fishing you may ask! Oh, where to begin? Have you ever been fishing?
I’ve just returned from a fishing vacation. Some friends and I spent most of last week in hot pursuit of little green fish. That in and of itself could be the problem! The weather is always a problem. Sometimes, it’s the bugs, the tackle, the boat, the mood of said little green fish. Problem, problem, problem.
The seeming problem last week wasn’t the fishing. As most of us who have spent a long day on the water know, it was the catching! Sure, we caught some fish, but not the size or quantity that we expected. A friend sent me the following quote after our second day: “Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing it is not fish they are after.” Henry David Thoreau
A long-time fisherman, fan of Thoreau, and ACIM student, I have always held that quote dear. I’ve also said on many occasions that a true fisherman doesn’t have to catch fish to have fun. We had fun. Oh yes, we laughed a ton. But all of us had this tiny mad voice telling us that we should be disappointed, frustrated, etc. At times, some of us even listened.
Like everything else in our lives, the problem with fishing is that we think it is a problem. Actually, that is one of the things that I really love about it. To consistently catch fish, one must be able to solve puzzles. A good angler uses past experience, knowledge of seasonal patterns, weather, fish behavior, etc. to figure out where and how to get them into the boat. Of course, a puzzle isn’t necessarily a problem, and neither the fishing nor the catching was really the problem on our trip.
One problem; one solution.
The problem is that not catching fish threatened our identity. We all consider ourselves fairly good fishermen. A dear friend calls me “the fish whisperer”. I take conscious pride in my ability to consistently solve the puzzle! Last week, I couldn’t. I got the corner pieces and most of the sides, but the whole puzzle eluded me. Who was I?
Our little imaginary friend - the ego - defends our seeming identity tooth and nail. Who are we without our descriptions of ourselves, without our beliefs about ourselves, without our judgments? The ego is these beliefs. It depends on how we’ve “described” ourselves, because it is the differences (judgments). The fear over that loss of identity is what every single one of us experiences over and over and over, day-in and day-out. It is the disappointment, the frustration, the depression that we secretly delight in. Why? Because that fear reinforces who we want to be (separate, distinct, special, etc.) In the ego’s topsy-turvy world, wholeness is deprivation. Anything that chips away at our seeming individual identity is therefore perceived as a threat.
Think about your “fishing”. Are you a good mom? A good friend? A talented artist or skilled professional? Do you have a green thumb? Are you a master in the kitchen? Are you spiritual? Maybe smart or funny? Perhaps, you are unlucky, unhappy, or unfairly treated. What defines you? What causes some discomfort when it is seemingly taken away?
Spend a few minutes with yourself today – not as you define yourself but as you are. Try to move beyond the descriptions. Who are you without these ideas? Who is the you asking the question?
See you on the water.
Showing posts with label judgment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label judgment. Show all posts
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
Our Invitation to Healing
When we pull up to an intersection and somebody approaches us looking for some change, the rubber of our spiritual journey indeed meets the road of our everyday life. The practical application of our study, our path, meets us head on. Do we drop some change in the cup?
Thankfully, this isn’t A Course in Behavior.
Remember, the problem isn’t where we think it is. The question isn’t A or B.
Most of us could construct a moral argument for giving the dollar or not giving the dollar, and many would argue about what the “loving” thing to do is. Isn’t it amazing that we think that we know? Isn’t it funny that we think that we know AND that we think that there could be an alternative to Love? That simple conflict should be a fairly significant clue that we have no idea about Love. Our judgment about the receiver of the dollar, the giver of the dollar, and the value of the dollar, keeps Love from our awareness.
The only question worth asking of anything in this world is “What is it for?” What is its purpose? The dilemma over the dollar has a clear purpose. It says that the problem is out there and so is the solution. It reinforces the judgment that makes A or B meaningful. It clouds our vision of our brother.
Like every other external question in our lives, the seemingly conflicted form can serve a new purpose, too. It can remind us that the problem isn’t out there, and the problem isn’t a question. The problem is a decision.
The decision for guilt is the glue that binds the fragmented world of form together in one twisted purpose. It is the decision for guilt that gives A or B meaning. It is this decision that imprisons us to conflict, attack, and pain. When we recognize that the problem is a decision, we’re halfway home. Now, all that is required is the little willingness to give up what we’ve chosen by recognizing that we no longer want it.
Practically, when we are willing to decide against all of the obstacles (our judgments) that we’ve erected between ourselves and Love, Love is free to flow through us and inform whatever situation or circumstance in which we find ourselves. In other words, when I forgive myself for judging my brother, judging myself, and judging the value of my gift, Love will take whatever form best symbolizes that decision in that moment. It could be that I give a dollar; it could be that I do not. It could be that I offer a smile; it could be that I offer a meal. Again, it isn’t the form that determines value; it is the content. What am I offering? What is my brother offering? When the answer to those questions are the same, peace is the result.
Remember, ACIM is not a positive course in that it doesn't teaches us what to do; it is a course in undoing the negative. ACIM is a course in removing the obstacles that we’ve placed between who we think we are and our True Identity. ACIM is a course in looking. It is in the looking that we recognize what we’ve chosen and that we no longer want it. That’s where healing starts. That’s what every brother is offering. That’s what everything is for.
But look upon a forgiven world, a world released from guilt, and you are transformed. The sickness that we perceive is but our invitation to heal.
Thankfully, this isn’t A Course in Behavior.
Remember, the problem isn’t where we think it is. The question isn’t A or B.
Most of us could construct a moral argument for giving the dollar or not giving the dollar, and many would argue about what the “loving” thing to do is. Isn’t it amazing that we think that we know? Isn’t it funny that we think that we know AND that we think that there could be an alternative to Love? That simple conflict should be a fairly significant clue that we have no idea about Love. Our judgment about the receiver of the dollar, the giver of the dollar, and the value of the dollar, keeps Love from our awareness.
The only question worth asking of anything in this world is “What is it for?” What is its purpose? The dilemma over the dollar has a clear purpose. It says that the problem is out there and so is the solution. It reinforces the judgment that makes A or B meaningful. It clouds our vision of our brother.
Like every other external question in our lives, the seemingly conflicted form can serve a new purpose, too. It can remind us that the problem isn’t out there, and the problem isn’t a question. The problem is a decision.
The decision for guilt is the glue that binds the fragmented world of form together in one twisted purpose. It is the decision for guilt that gives A or B meaning. It is this decision that imprisons us to conflict, attack, and pain. When we recognize that the problem is a decision, we’re halfway home. Now, all that is required is the little willingness to give up what we’ve chosen by recognizing that we no longer want it.
Practically, when we are willing to decide against all of the obstacles (our judgments) that we’ve erected between ourselves and Love, Love is free to flow through us and inform whatever situation or circumstance in which we find ourselves. In other words, when I forgive myself for judging my brother, judging myself, and judging the value of my gift, Love will take whatever form best symbolizes that decision in that moment. It could be that I give a dollar; it could be that I do not. It could be that I offer a smile; it could be that I offer a meal. Again, it isn’t the form that determines value; it is the content. What am I offering? What is my brother offering? When the answer to those questions are the same, peace is the result.
Remember, ACIM is not a positive course in that it doesn't teaches us what to do; it is a course in undoing the negative. ACIM is a course in removing the obstacles that we’ve placed between who we think we are and our True Identity. ACIM is a course in looking. It is in the looking that we recognize what we’ve chosen and that we no longer want it. That’s where healing starts. That’s what every brother is offering. That’s what everything is for.
But look upon a forgiven world, a world released from guilt, and you are transformed. The sickness that we perceive is but our invitation to heal.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
This Note's for You
During a group discussion this week, my friend shared a very useful analogy for describing the ego thought system. For you musicians out there, this may be especially poignant. Bob compared the ego thought system to the feedback loop that is created when an electric guitar is brought in front of an amplifier. You non-musicians can likely recall your favorite rock star’s dissonant sounds as he/she holds their guitar up to the speaker, shakes it a little (the guitar), and produces a siren like tone.
Imagine for a minute that you are the musician, all decked out in your tight pants and complicated shoes (or whatever your favorite rocker wears). You are the musician, but you are convinced that your life is the feedback loop. You’ll move around a bit, change the angle of the guitar, even shake it a bit trying to find a pleasing tone, but these seem to be the limits of your options. Paralyzed by fear, you stand there, not knowing what to do, but believing that your life depends on keeping this dissonant noise going.
Welcome to the ego thought system. Our fear keeps us beholden to the prison of a feedback loop that we believe is our life. It is clear when you look upon the musician from the outside that neither the effort expensed nor the tones of his “life” suit him, yet here we stand – holding the guitar, manipulating the screams, and blind to the choice.
The alternative, of course, is to remove the power from the loop. If the musician had any inkling that his life didn’t depend on the feedback loop, he could merely pull the plug, walk away, and return to playing the Melody of his True Identity.
We have the same choice with the ego thought system. We give it the only power that it has. It is nothing, but it is a nothing that we believe is us.
Unplug today from the judgment that is the ego’s feedback loop. Walk away from the guilt that keeps you prisoner to the ego’s dissonance and raucous screams.
You are the Musician. You are not the loop. Share your Song and remember your Self today.
T.29.IX.8:4-5 And in these dreams a melody is heard that everyone remembers, though he has not heard it since before all time began. Forgiveness, once complete, brings timelessness so close the song of Heaven can be heard…
Thanks for being our teacher, Bob.
Imagine for a minute that you are the musician, all decked out in your tight pants and complicated shoes (or whatever your favorite rocker wears). You are the musician, but you are convinced that your life is the feedback loop. You’ll move around a bit, change the angle of the guitar, even shake it a bit trying to find a pleasing tone, but these seem to be the limits of your options. Paralyzed by fear, you stand there, not knowing what to do, but believing that your life depends on keeping this dissonant noise going.
Welcome to the ego thought system. Our fear keeps us beholden to the prison of a feedback loop that we believe is our life. It is clear when you look upon the musician from the outside that neither the effort expensed nor the tones of his “life” suit him, yet here we stand – holding the guitar, manipulating the screams, and blind to the choice.
The alternative, of course, is to remove the power from the loop. If the musician had any inkling that his life didn’t depend on the feedback loop, he could merely pull the plug, walk away, and return to playing the Melody of his True Identity.
We have the same choice with the ego thought system. We give it the only power that it has. It is nothing, but it is a nothing that we believe is us.
Unplug today from the judgment that is the ego’s feedback loop. Walk away from the guilt that keeps you prisoner to the ego’s dissonance and raucous screams.
You are the Musician. You are not the loop. Share your Song and remember your Self today.
T.29.IX.8:4-5 And in these dreams a melody is heard that everyone remembers, though he has not heard it since before all time began. Forgiveness, once complete, brings timelessness so close the song of Heaven can be heard…
Thanks for being our teacher, Bob.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
The Problem with Teachers
We are all teaching – all of the time. Every minute of every hour of every day, we are teaching ourselves who we are. We are teaching ourselves that separation is real and wholeness is not, or we are teaching ourselves that Love is real and specialness is merely a crazy dream. The problem with teachers is that sometimes we forget.
Sometimes we get so caught up in the drama of our daily lives or the roles that we play, that we forget what is really going on here. Sometimes we think we’re teaching history or algebra. Sometimes we think we’re teaching joy or love. Sometimes we even think we are teaching A Course in Miracles! Oh certainly, in form we are teaching these things, but underneath, we are reinforcing a decision, the decision of identity. (And don’t be fooled into thinking that the one teaching history is doing anything different from the one teaching the blue book. They have the same purpose in the crazy dream, and they have the same purpose when released from the crazy dream.)
We teach what we most need to learn. The problem is that so often we are mistaken about what we are actually teaching - especially those of us who seem to be teaching spirituality and love. We teach what we most need to learn, because teaching and learning are the same. If Love is wholeness and oneness is our reality, we are both the teacher and the learner. Yes, it seems different in form. As is always the case, “seems” is the operative word. We are indeed but teaching ourselves.
Now, in the practical world of form, teaching and learning have some pitfalls, as one of my favorite and funky teachers recently pointed out. Here, in the world, these concepts seem like opposites. They seem like opposites, because here depends on opposites – or at least some fairly significant shades of gray. What we must remember, is that we make the decision for these differences. We always set the curriculum first, and then we use the world to prove our case believing that it is the world that is showing us what it is rather than us telling the world what it is. The form may indeed seem funky, but we choose what it means. We always choose the content.
If we believe we can teach something other than Love (and we all do), then we must believe that there is something other than Love. With that firmly established in our mind, we find opportunities that prove that we are great teachers of truth and light from time to time, and then we find equal opportunities that teach us that we have failed. We look upon a world that doesn’t “get it” and wish that it did, or we feel the guilt of our own failed lessons. Neither suits you, teacher. Let go of the judgment that creates the sense of obligation to do or say the “right” thing. We don’t know what love looks like. How could we with eyes that were made to stop at form? Teachers trust. Teachers recognize that removing the log of judgment from our own eyes is all that is required. There is no pressure to say or do the right thing. That vanishes in an instant of will when we recognize where the problem is and where it isn’t.
Teaching Love really means undoing (forgiving) all of the obstacles (guilt) that we have erected to keep Love away. Teaching Love means demonstrating that we are the same. We are the same in the insanity that imagines that teachers have something that students lack, and we are the same in the solution that reminds that teachers and students are one in purpose. Forgiveness is the process that undoes the former and makes way for the latter. So, thank you for being my teacher. Thank you for being my student. And thank you for forgiving me the judgment that would have them be different.
Sometimes we get so caught up in the drama of our daily lives or the roles that we play, that we forget what is really going on here. Sometimes we think we’re teaching history or algebra. Sometimes we think we’re teaching joy or love. Sometimes we even think we are teaching A Course in Miracles! Oh certainly, in form we are teaching these things, but underneath, we are reinforcing a decision, the decision of identity. (And don’t be fooled into thinking that the one teaching history is doing anything different from the one teaching the blue book. They have the same purpose in the crazy dream, and they have the same purpose when released from the crazy dream.)
We teach what we most need to learn. The problem is that so often we are mistaken about what we are actually teaching - especially those of us who seem to be teaching spirituality and love. We teach what we most need to learn, because teaching and learning are the same. If Love is wholeness and oneness is our reality, we are both the teacher and the learner. Yes, it seems different in form. As is always the case, “seems” is the operative word. We are indeed but teaching ourselves.
Now, in the practical world of form, teaching and learning have some pitfalls, as one of my favorite and funky teachers recently pointed out. Here, in the world, these concepts seem like opposites. They seem like opposites, because here depends on opposites – or at least some fairly significant shades of gray. What we must remember, is that we make the decision for these differences. We always set the curriculum first, and then we use the world to prove our case believing that it is the world that is showing us what it is rather than us telling the world what it is. The form may indeed seem funky, but we choose what it means. We always choose the content.
If we believe we can teach something other than Love (and we all do), then we must believe that there is something other than Love. With that firmly established in our mind, we find opportunities that prove that we are great teachers of truth and light from time to time, and then we find equal opportunities that teach us that we have failed. We look upon a world that doesn’t “get it” and wish that it did, or we feel the guilt of our own failed lessons. Neither suits you, teacher. Let go of the judgment that creates the sense of obligation to do or say the “right” thing. We don’t know what love looks like. How could we with eyes that were made to stop at form? Teachers trust. Teachers recognize that removing the log of judgment from our own eyes is all that is required. There is no pressure to say or do the right thing. That vanishes in an instant of will when we recognize where the problem is and where it isn’t.
Teaching Love really means undoing (forgiving) all of the obstacles (guilt) that we have erected to keep Love away. Teaching Love means demonstrating that we are the same. We are the same in the insanity that imagines that teachers have something that students lack, and we are the same in the solution that reminds that teachers and students are one in purpose. Forgiveness is the process that undoes the former and makes way for the latter. So, thank you for being my teacher. Thank you for being my student. And thank you for forgiving me the judgment that would have them be different.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Keys to the Kingdom
When was the last time you forgot something? Can’t remember? ;)
Think about what memories are. Memories are the link between the present moment and the past. Without the memory, the past is dead to us. With the memory, it is as if it were happening right now. Sometimes we can even smell or taste the experience. Amazing things our memories.
So what happens when we forget? Well, the memory doesn't go anywhere; we just aren't able to access it. We know this, and we’ve developed a few fairly universal solutions:
1) We stop. We stop trying so hard to remember. We go for a jog or do some chores. Our experience has shown us that often when we stop struggling, the memory pops right in there.
2) We leave reminders. We tie a string around our finger. (Anybody actually still do that?) We make a list. We set something out in an unusual spot, so that we can’t miss it.
3) We run through everything that we were doing or thinking until we are left with the thing we forgot. How many times have you retraced your steps to discover your missing car keys?
All of these solutions work equally well when it comes to our spiritual journey.
Our problem is that we’ve forgotten. That’s all. We’ve forgotten who we are. We’ve forgotten what Love is. We’ve forgotten that guilt cannot be justified. Sure, we’ve made some fine substitutions here, but none bring us lasting peace. None reflect our Truth.
The good news is that if we’ve merely forgotten, we need only restore what was already there! So, just as we use the aforementioned techniques to link us to the past, we can utilize them to link us to our Truth.
1) We stop. We stop trying so hard to be spiritual, to understand, to get it. Our trying often only serves to reinforce the lack. The ego loves it when we turn spirituality into a race, debate, mountain to climb or lesson to learn. When we do so, we always prove the ego’s point – that there is something out there to attain. There isn’t. We are what we seek, yet we do not know where to look. So, stop. Give up your judgment of where and how. Give up your need to be right about who and when. Give up your belief about the problem. Let Love remind you.
2) Leave reminders. How? Give up your purpose for what you see. Instead of every symbol screaming of its difference, its specialness, allow everything you encounter today to be the reminder of where the problem really is. Let every breath you take be the reminder that you’ve only forgotten Love; it isn’t gone. Let every person you meet sing to you of their truth beyond what your eyes and ears seem to perceive.
3) Be Michelangelo. We do not have to do anything to be what we are. (This is why ACIM is a course in undoing the negative rather than a course in understanding or attaining the positive.) We do, however, have to let go of the seeming blocks of granite that we’ve placed between us and our Truth, between us and Love. Michelangelo often spoke of the beauty within his block of stone believing his only responsibility was to “hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition” or “carve until I set him free”. If we will but hew away all of the rough walls of judgment that block our awareness of Love, Love will dawn upon our mind, because that is what it is. Just as we retrace and eliminate each step to find the keys to our car, we retrace and eliminate each judgment, each defense, leaving us with nothing but the "keys" to the Kingdom.
Think about what memories are. Memories are the link between the present moment and the past. Without the memory, the past is dead to us. With the memory, it is as if it were happening right now. Sometimes we can even smell or taste the experience. Amazing things our memories.
So what happens when we forget? Well, the memory doesn't go anywhere; we just aren't able to access it. We know this, and we’ve developed a few fairly universal solutions:
1) We stop. We stop trying so hard to remember. We go for a jog or do some chores. Our experience has shown us that often when we stop struggling, the memory pops right in there.
2) We leave reminders. We tie a string around our finger. (Anybody actually still do that?) We make a list. We set something out in an unusual spot, so that we can’t miss it.
3) We run through everything that we were doing or thinking until we are left with the thing we forgot. How many times have you retraced your steps to discover your missing car keys?
All of these solutions work equally well when it comes to our spiritual journey.
Our problem is that we’ve forgotten. That’s all. We’ve forgotten who we are. We’ve forgotten what Love is. We’ve forgotten that guilt cannot be justified. Sure, we’ve made some fine substitutions here, but none bring us lasting peace. None reflect our Truth.
The good news is that if we’ve merely forgotten, we need only restore what was already there! So, just as we use the aforementioned techniques to link us to the past, we can utilize them to link us to our Truth.
1) We stop. We stop trying so hard to be spiritual, to understand, to get it. Our trying often only serves to reinforce the lack. The ego loves it when we turn spirituality into a race, debate, mountain to climb or lesson to learn. When we do so, we always prove the ego’s point – that there is something out there to attain. There isn’t. We are what we seek, yet we do not know where to look. So, stop. Give up your judgment of where and how. Give up your need to be right about who and when. Give up your belief about the problem. Let Love remind you.
2) Leave reminders. How? Give up your purpose for what you see. Instead of every symbol screaming of its difference, its specialness, allow everything you encounter today to be the reminder of where the problem really is. Let every breath you take be the reminder that you’ve only forgotten Love; it isn’t gone. Let every person you meet sing to you of their truth beyond what your eyes and ears seem to perceive.
3) Be Michelangelo. We do not have to do anything to be what we are. (This is why ACIM is a course in undoing the negative rather than a course in understanding or attaining the positive.) We do, however, have to let go of the seeming blocks of granite that we’ve placed between us and our Truth, between us and Love. Michelangelo often spoke of the beauty within his block of stone believing his only responsibility was to “hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition” or “carve until I set him free”. If we will but hew away all of the rough walls of judgment that block our awareness of Love, Love will dawn upon our mind, because that is what it is. Just as we retrace and eliminate each step to find the keys to our car, we retrace and eliminate each judgment, each defense, leaving us with nothing but the "keys" to the Kingdom.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Dave v. God (The ultimate smackdown)
The problem with Dave (insert your name here) is that he thinks today’s post title has meaning.
We all do. Dave’s will and God’s will are definitely not the same. We have all identified with the effect of a thought system based on specialness, individuality, separation, etc. instead of the cause. This seeming effect (the world, the body, etc.) is at odds (read: in competition) with a thought system based on wholeness, oneness, unity, etc. We choose between two mutually exclusive interpretations of the world. Separation can’t exist with wholeness. The purpose of this world, and therefore Dave, is as defense against (in competition with) wholeness (God). Note: Substitute whatever word works for you when I reference God: Source, Love, Heaven, Reality, etc.
So, that being said, I was reminded by a friend’s recent post that everything here reflects this tiny mad idea of competition described above – even single parents compete. Of course they do. Everything here does, because here is the result of competition! Remember the fulcrum of judgment? Judgment demands competition.
Think about your day. Is there anything in your experience that isn’t competing with something? We compete for jobs. We compete for love. Competition drives the price we pay at the pump, at the grocery, on the battle field. Survival of the fittest decides which species persists, which team wins, and the temperature in the car on a road trip with your spouse. Today competes with tomorrow. Here competes with there. Even your body competes with the empty space that it displaces. Nothing is immune. As we discussed in the last post, even Oprah competes with her own weight as she passionately exclaims that she doesn’t want to let the fat win!
Like everything else in our experience, the appropriate question to ask is, “What is this for?” In this world, competition witnesses our differences and reinforces our judgment, plain and simple. ACIM explains that we’ve chosen grandiosity (the result of competition) over grandeur (our inheritance). Unsatisfied with wholeness (grandeur), we’ve identified with (read: substituted) separateness (grandiosity). Grandiosity is our attempt to counteract our littleness (read: not wholeness) based on the belief that the littleness (Dave, you, etc.) is real. Does this mean we shouldn’t compete? No, not at all. Again, we can’t be here and not be in competition with something. Our goal is a changed purpose for the competition.
Quick note on “grandiosity”: Grandiosity comes in all forms. When we typically think of “grandiosity”, we think of an over-the-top expression of success, wealth, health, etc. We usually imagine a person living in the mansion on the hill and driving the bright red Ferrari. Don’t stop there. Everything here is grandiose. I could be the poorest person, the sickest person, or the biggest loser. I could be the most balanced person, most normal person, or the most non-grandiose person. The point is that we stand apart from the rest. Doesn’t matter where we fall on the grandiosity continuum (see-saw of judgment), it’s still grandiosity. It is still the result of competition and a belief in (a need for) separate interests.
So, where does that leave us? Well, the good news is that every second and every minute of every day gives us the opportunity to choose again, to choose against grandiosity and remember our grandeur, to use competition as the reminder of where the real competition is. The real competition is for our interpretation of the world. Salvation is the recognition of the choice. Which thought system do we choose? Do we reinforce and justify the grandiosity of our perceived separation or do we use the differences to reflect the sameness of shifted purpose?
PS - Recognizing our grandeur - our unity with God, Love, Source, each other - doesn’t mean that we are God (much to the dismay of many ACIM critics). To the contrary, it means that we are no longer willing to usurp his role by identifying with what we are not.
We all do. Dave’s will and God’s will are definitely not the same. We have all identified with the effect of a thought system based on specialness, individuality, separation, etc. instead of the cause. This seeming effect (the world, the body, etc.) is at odds (read: in competition) with a thought system based on wholeness, oneness, unity, etc. We choose between two mutually exclusive interpretations of the world. Separation can’t exist with wholeness. The purpose of this world, and therefore Dave, is as defense against (in competition with) wholeness (God). Note: Substitute whatever word works for you when I reference God: Source, Love, Heaven, Reality, etc.
So, that being said, I was reminded by a friend’s recent post that everything here reflects this tiny mad idea of competition described above – even single parents compete. Of course they do. Everything here does, because here is the result of competition! Remember the fulcrum of judgment? Judgment demands competition.
Think about your day. Is there anything in your experience that isn’t competing with something? We compete for jobs. We compete for love. Competition drives the price we pay at the pump, at the grocery, on the battle field. Survival of the fittest decides which species persists, which team wins, and the temperature in the car on a road trip with your spouse. Today competes with tomorrow. Here competes with there. Even your body competes with the empty space that it displaces. Nothing is immune. As we discussed in the last post, even Oprah competes with her own weight as she passionately exclaims that she doesn’t want to let the fat win!
Like everything else in our experience, the appropriate question to ask is, “What is this for?” In this world, competition witnesses our differences and reinforces our judgment, plain and simple. ACIM explains that we’ve chosen grandiosity (the result of competition) over grandeur (our inheritance). Unsatisfied with wholeness (grandeur), we’ve identified with (read: substituted) separateness (grandiosity). Grandiosity is our attempt to counteract our littleness (read: not wholeness) based on the belief that the littleness (Dave, you, etc.) is real. Does this mean we shouldn’t compete? No, not at all. Again, we can’t be here and not be in competition with something. Our goal is a changed purpose for the competition.
Quick note on “grandiosity”: Grandiosity comes in all forms. When we typically think of “grandiosity”, we think of an over-the-top expression of success, wealth, health, etc. We usually imagine a person living in the mansion on the hill and driving the bright red Ferrari. Don’t stop there. Everything here is grandiose. I could be the poorest person, the sickest person, or the biggest loser. I could be the most balanced person, most normal person, or the most non-grandiose person. The point is that we stand apart from the rest. Doesn’t matter where we fall on the grandiosity continuum (see-saw of judgment), it’s still grandiosity. It is still the result of competition and a belief in (a need for) separate interests.
So, where does that leave us? Well, the good news is that every second and every minute of every day gives us the opportunity to choose again, to choose against grandiosity and remember our grandeur, to use competition as the reminder of where the real competition is. The real competition is for our interpretation of the world. Salvation is the recognition of the choice. Which thought system do we choose? Do we reinforce and justify the grandiosity of our perceived separation or do we use the differences to reflect the sameness of shifted purpose?
PS - Recognizing our grandeur - our unity with God, Love, Source, each other - doesn’t mean that we are God (much to the dismay of many ACIM critics). To the contrary, it means that we are no longer willing to usurp his role by identifying with what we are not.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Thank you, Oprah, for being our teacher. (Where is the balance?)
I spent an hour with one of my favorite teachers this week. Well, actually it was more like 40 minutes thanks to Tivo. This was “Best Life Week” for Oprah, and a couple of episodes caught my attention.
Oprah is one of my favorite teachers for a couple of reasons: 1) She is a perpetual student, seemingly always interested in growth, understanding, and ultimately peace of mind, and she consistently challenges us to see things differently and share her journey. 2) Oprah has become one of our enduring symbols of success, yet she willingly demonstrates that she still struggles with the same seeming problems, and therefore core problem, that we all do. That’s helpful.
On last Tuesday’s show, Oprah talked about her ongoing struggle with weight. For our purposes, insert your own problem, whatever it is today, for “weight". In an amazingly open and sincere effort to conquer this “problem”, Oprah took the first step that all of us have to take. We have to simply be willing to give up the way that we’ve been looking at our seeming problem. After some fairly intense looking and consultation with Marianne Williamson and trainer Bob, Oprah recognized that what she was hungry for wasn’t food but love. Awesome. That’s the second step. Here’s where most of us struggle. What does that mean, and what’s next? For Oprah, it meant coming to the conclusion that the problem was balance. She spends so much time giving and living for others that she was ignoring herself, so she’s put herself back on the list scheduling work-out times, manicures, etc. That should indeed help….at least for a while.
So the points I’d like for us to ponder today are these:
1) We all must be vigilant against problem substitution. Because we believe the problem is here (in the world), we also believe the solution is as well. We are all very adept at giving up on yesterday’s solution (because it didn’t work) and substituting a new solution (thus seemingly shifting the problem). In Oprah’s case, we see the shift from “I want to be thin” to “I want to be healthy” – from diet and exercise to balance. Now, don’t hear me say that these things shouldn’t be pursued. If I’m heavy and I want to be thinner, there are typically things that I can do in form to change that. What I am suggesting is that we remember that not only is the weight not the problem but also that the seeming solution isn’t the new problem. We still take care of these things, because we believe that we’re here. But we also start to use them in a new way. We start to recognize that these seeming problems and seeming solutions are pointers to (reminders of) where the problem really is.
2) What is balance? From the perspective of the world, “balance” is the equalizing of competing or separate interests. Again, in Oprah’s example, she is trying to balance giving to the world with giving to herself. Certainly makes sense here. “Here” is all about this definition of balance. Everything “here” must be balanced. We balance sleep with waking. We balance the amount of food it takes to efficiently run our bodies with not enough food or too much food. We balance the amount of air we take into our lungs. We balance our relationships, our work, time with friends, speed going down the road, our bank accounts – all of it. Why? The world rests on a fulcrum of judgment. That’s what the world is. Think of the world as a see-saw. The see-saw’s purpose isn’t balance. It is set up to teeter one way or another. If I start spending more time on me, I’m spending less time on you. Eventually, the teeter totters, and I have to start spending more time with you. It’s the same for every seeming problem.
So, what’s the alternative? Using Oprah's example, until we remember that loving somebody else is loving ourselves (and vice versa), we’ll ride the see-saw of insanity back and forth loving somebody for a while then taking time to love ourselves for a while. We’ll never be balanced, because we’ll always be in flux, on one side of the fulcrum or the other. “Balance” really means equalizing. We can’t do that here. Yes, we all try, every minute of every day. We all try to figure out our own personal formula for balancing the world and achieving peace of mind, yet we can never really find it here. “Here” is always tipped one way or the other. Lasting balance will never be the result of manipulating “here” (form), because "here" always changes. Balance is the result of the changed purpose of “here” (content). Remember, the world is an outside picture of an inward condition. If we want to change the world, we must change our mind about the world – again, what that means is that we change the purpose of the world.
Balance is a decision, plain and simple. It’s the decision to give up our judgment, which really means that we don’t take our judgment so seriously (Remember, we look at our judgment without judgment). Again, it is our judgment that tells us where on the see-saw our experience is. (Is it up? Is it down? Is it left? Is it right?) When we change the purpose of the see-saw, we’ve changed our experience of it. Instead of the see-saw seemingly telling us what balance is or where balance is, we bring balance to the see-saw. The see-saw may not change, but instead of reinforcing our sub-conscious, out-of-balance decision, it now serves the purpose of reminding us that we made the decision. Now, that's helpful.
Instead of finding ourselves on the left or the right side of the see-saw and trying to figure out how to fix it, these two seemingly different forms (more of this or less of that) now serve to reflect the balance that we’ve chosen, the goal that we've set, because they share the same purpose. They’ve been equalized in content. They no longer serve the differences that our judgment demands. They now serve the sameness that undoing our judgment bestows. Now, they balance, no matter where on the see-saw they appear to be.
Again, we bring our balance to the situation or circumstance. When we bring our balance to the time-for-you/time-for-me question, we recognize that they are the same, which has the added benefit of removing the guilt from both. I can’t love you and not love me. I can’t love me and not love you. Now, we’re balanced. Now, the purpose of whatever we do is the same, and the world’s purpose is clear. Now, we know where the balance is.
PS I’m not in any way suggesting that Oprah’s quest for balance is or isn’t the result of what we’ve just discussed. There is no way to know by looking at behavior (form). What I am suggesting is that if abiding peace isn’t the result, she (we) may choose to look at what we think the problem is once again.
PPS Thank you, Oprah, for being our teacher.
Oprah is one of my favorite teachers for a couple of reasons: 1) She is a perpetual student, seemingly always interested in growth, understanding, and ultimately peace of mind, and she consistently challenges us to see things differently and share her journey. 2) Oprah has become one of our enduring symbols of success, yet she willingly demonstrates that she still struggles with the same seeming problems, and therefore core problem, that we all do. That’s helpful.
On last Tuesday’s show, Oprah talked about her ongoing struggle with weight. For our purposes, insert your own problem, whatever it is today, for “weight". In an amazingly open and sincere effort to conquer this “problem”, Oprah took the first step that all of us have to take. We have to simply be willing to give up the way that we’ve been looking at our seeming problem. After some fairly intense looking and consultation with Marianne Williamson and trainer Bob, Oprah recognized that what she was hungry for wasn’t food but love. Awesome. That’s the second step. Here’s where most of us struggle. What does that mean, and what’s next? For Oprah, it meant coming to the conclusion that the problem was balance. She spends so much time giving and living for others that she was ignoring herself, so she’s put herself back on the list scheduling work-out times, manicures, etc. That should indeed help….at least for a while.
So the points I’d like for us to ponder today are these:
1) We all must be vigilant against problem substitution. Because we believe the problem is here (in the world), we also believe the solution is as well. We are all very adept at giving up on yesterday’s solution (because it didn’t work) and substituting a new solution (thus seemingly shifting the problem). In Oprah’s case, we see the shift from “I want to be thin” to “I want to be healthy” – from diet and exercise to balance. Now, don’t hear me say that these things shouldn’t be pursued. If I’m heavy and I want to be thinner, there are typically things that I can do in form to change that. What I am suggesting is that we remember that not only is the weight not the problem but also that the seeming solution isn’t the new problem. We still take care of these things, because we believe that we’re here. But we also start to use them in a new way. We start to recognize that these seeming problems and seeming solutions are pointers to (reminders of) where the problem really is.
2) What is balance? From the perspective of the world, “balance” is the equalizing of competing or separate interests. Again, in Oprah’s example, she is trying to balance giving to the world with giving to herself. Certainly makes sense here. “Here” is all about this definition of balance. Everything “here” must be balanced. We balance sleep with waking. We balance the amount of food it takes to efficiently run our bodies with not enough food or too much food. We balance the amount of air we take into our lungs. We balance our relationships, our work, time with friends, speed going down the road, our bank accounts – all of it. Why? The world rests on a fulcrum of judgment. That’s what the world is. Think of the world as a see-saw. The see-saw’s purpose isn’t balance. It is set up to teeter one way or another. If I start spending more time on me, I’m spending less time on you. Eventually, the teeter totters, and I have to start spending more time with you. It’s the same for every seeming problem.
So, what’s the alternative? Using Oprah's example, until we remember that loving somebody else is loving ourselves (and vice versa), we’ll ride the see-saw of insanity back and forth loving somebody for a while then taking time to love ourselves for a while. We’ll never be balanced, because we’ll always be in flux, on one side of the fulcrum or the other. “Balance” really means equalizing. We can’t do that here. Yes, we all try, every minute of every day. We all try to figure out our own personal formula for balancing the world and achieving peace of mind, yet we can never really find it here. “Here” is always tipped one way or the other. Lasting balance will never be the result of manipulating “here” (form), because "here" always changes. Balance is the result of the changed purpose of “here” (content). Remember, the world is an outside picture of an inward condition. If we want to change the world, we must change our mind about the world – again, what that means is that we change the purpose of the world.
Balance is a decision, plain and simple. It’s the decision to give up our judgment, which really means that we don’t take our judgment so seriously (Remember, we look at our judgment without judgment). Again, it is our judgment that tells us where on the see-saw our experience is. (Is it up? Is it down? Is it left? Is it right?) When we change the purpose of the see-saw, we’ve changed our experience of it. Instead of the see-saw seemingly telling us what balance is or where balance is, we bring balance to the see-saw. The see-saw may not change, but instead of reinforcing our sub-conscious, out-of-balance decision, it now serves the purpose of reminding us that we made the decision. Now, that's helpful.
Instead of finding ourselves on the left or the right side of the see-saw and trying to figure out how to fix it, these two seemingly different forms (more of this or less of that) now serve to reflect the balance that we’ve chosen, the goal that we've set, because they share the same purpose. They’ve been equalized in content. They no longer serve the differences that our judgment demands. They now serve the sameness that undoing our judgment bestows. Now, they balance, no matter where on the see-saw they appear to be.
Again, we bring our balance to the situation or circumstance. When we bring our balance to the time-for-you/time-for-me question, we recognize that they are the same, which has the added benefit of removing the guilt from both. I can’t love you and not love me. I can’t love me and not love you. Now, we’re balanced. Now, the purpose of whatever we do is the same, and the world’s purpose is clear. Now, we know where the balance is.
PS I’m not in any way suggesting that Oprah’s quest for balance is or isn’t the result of what we’ve just discussed. There is no way to know by looking at behavior (form). What I am suggesting is that if abiding peace isn’t the result, she (we) may choose to look at what we think the problem is once again.
PPS Thank you, Oprah, for being our teacher.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Thanks for being my juror
To judge or not to judge, is that the question? Sure seemed to be earlier this week at the County Criminal Courthouse. What started as a less-than-heartening day of civic responsibility ended a profound pointer, a reminder, back to purpose.
Yes, I had been summoned for jury duty. I made it as far as I’ve ever made it. You see, I’ve never actually been on a jury, but I have made it to the voir dire phase several times. Perhaps being relatively liberal in a relatively conservative state has something to do with my failure to reach the box; I don’t know. In any event, the prosecution and the defense asked the usual questions, the ones conceived to cull the herd.
The typical pattern of extremes began to emerge. Hoping to dodge service, many swung hard to the right, “No sir, I could not sentence a guilty person to probation, even if the law allowed it. If he is guilty, he deserves the maximum punishment.” Others swung hard to the left, “No sir, I could not stand in judgment of another human being. That is not my place.” When asked if I could sit in judgment of another human being, I tried not to swing too hard either way, “No sir, I would not sit in judgment of another person, but I could judge a behavior in light of the law. I can separate the two.” My qualified answer seemed a bit lost on the defense council, but the process continued and eventually they sent me home….again.
So how do we reconcile the content of the Course with the task of determining a brother's guilt in a court of law? Well, turns out it is pretty easy when you stop to ask for help. The Course doesn’t ask us to give up our judgments, our special relationships; the Course merely asks us to look at them without judgment. Looking at our judgments without judgment is the essence of looking with the Holy Spirit. Being in our right mind is being in our wrong mind without judging it.
The practical reality is that I can’t be here and not judge. That’s what “here” is. Normal people can usually look at a set of facts and determine if those facts indicate an unlawful behavior. So can Course students. Being normal is imperative as we walk our path.
Believing that we can withdraw from judgment in this world merely reinforces our belief in it. Not making a decision is making a decision. Leaving that decision to somebody else is making a decision. Finding someone “guilty” of a crime does not mean that I witness the sin within them. To the contrary, we may find that we are merely limiting a brother’s ability to hurt him/herself or others. Could you not stop a child about to put his hand on a hot stove? Would you call it sin?
Please, don’t hear me say that the Course encourages us to sit on a jury. Do hear me say that the Course doesn’t tell us not to sit on one. Remember, this isn’t a course in behaviors. This is A Course in Miracles. Neither the seeming battleground of the courtroom nor the seeming battleground in our mind can keep us from shifted purpose unless we allow it.
That being said, wouldn’t you want you on your jury?
Yes, I had been summoned for jury duty. I made it as far as I’ve ever made it. You see, I’ve never actually been on a jury, but I have made it to the voir dire phase several times. Perhaps being relatively liberal in a relatively conservative state has something to do with my failure to reach the box; I don’t know. In any event, the prosecution and the defense asked the usual questions, the ones conceived to cull the herd.
The typical pattern of extremes began to emerge. Hoping to dodge service, many swung hard to the right, “No sir, I could not sentence a guilty person to probation, even if the law allowed it. If he is guilty, he deserves the maximum punishment.” Others swung hard to the left, “No sir, I could not stand in judgment of another human being. That is not my place.” When asked if I could sit in judgment of another human being, I tried not to swing too hard either way, “No sir, I would not sit in judgment of another person, but I could judge a behavior in light of the law. I can separate the two.” My qualified answer seemed a bit lost on the defense council, but the process continued and eventually they sent me home….again.
So how do we reconcile the content of the Course with the task of determining a brother's guilt in a court of law? Well, turns out it is pretty easy when you stop to ask for help. The Course doesn’t ask us to give up our judgments, our special relationships; the Course merely asks us to look at them without judgment. Looking at our judgments without judgment is the essence of looking with the Holy Spirit. Being in our right mind is being in our wrong mind without judging it.
The practical reality is that I can’t be here and not judge. That’s what “here” is. Normal people can usually look at a set of facts and determine if those facts indicate an unlawful behavior. So can Course students. Being normal is imperative as we walk our path.
Believing that we can withdraw from judgment in this world merely reinforces our belief in it. Not making a decision is making a decision. Leaving that decision to somebody else is making a decision. Finding someone “guilty” of a crime does not mean that I witness the sin within them. To the contrary, we may find that we are merely limiting a brother’s ability to hurt him/herself or others. Could you not stop a child about to put his hand on a hot stove? Would you call it sin?
Please, don’t hear me say that the Course encourages us to sit on a jury. Do hear me say that the Course doesn’t tell us not to sit on one. Remember, this isn’t a course in behaviors. This is A Course in Miracles. Neither the seeming battleground of the courtroom nor the seeming battleground in our mind can keep us from shifted purpose unless we allow it.
That being said, wouldn’t you want you on your jury?
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